The American Idol episode where they kicked off a contestant

One of my long-standing beliefs about American Idol – one that has weathered the test of time over the course of the last six seasons — is this: Chicks with tattoos don’t gain access to the top spot come finale time. If you know me or if you’ve read my reviews, you know I say this often.

Well, we can safely “add to the rules” so to speak. And this isn’t one of my rules, mind you. This one comes right out of the Idol books: You got warrants, you get booted off the show.

It’s a good rule. A solid rule. It’s one of those rules you better know going in. One you can’t skate around, no matter how hard you might try.

So it amazes me there are folks out there who think they can come in, buck the Idol system and get away Scot-free. The latest? Big boy Jermaine Jones. I’ve been saying from the very start he wouldn’t get anywhere. And now we have proof.

And that, good readers, is all I have to say about that. Kind of.

In other news, the hopefuls performed this evening:

Phillip Phillips: “Hard To Handle” Black Crowes Even with surgery for kidney stone removal the week before, Phillip put out an okay performance. Nothing special, but a straightforward Black Crowes version of the song. Nothing with his usual twist.

Jessica Sanchez: “Turn The Beat Around” Gloria Estefan  Not Jessica’s song or her style at all. She blew everyone away with last week’s Whitney Houston tune. This week she was flat. Funny Randy Jackson noted the judges were there to “stir” (he meant “steer”) her in the right direction musically.

Heejun Han: “Right Here Waiting For You” Richard Marx  Not the best performance by any stretch of the imagination. He did what he could to improve on the song and it helped, but it was an overall uneven performance, forced. Not a terrible one, just uneven.

Elise Testone:  “Let’s Stay Together”  Miles better than her performance last week. Still, climbing miles above only gets her half way. She was just all right.

Deandre Brackensick: “Endless Love”  Ugh. There was nothing there that did anything to change my mind about Deandre. JLo was absolutely correct: too many key changes in the song. He had misplaced and painful falsettos that hideously sickened the song. All of a sudden, it looks like Deandre has exhausted his bag of tricks. (And I figured out why I really don’t like the looks of this kid — he looks like either Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus of the Milli Vanilli.)

Shannon Magrane: “One Sweet Day” Didn’t do that bad a job, but it was completely forgettable. I won’t remember this performance, or the song, in a couple days.

Colton Dixon: “Broken Heart” The best unknown song of the night and Colton had fun with it. I’d heard of this White Lion tune before at least, regardless of the fact it seemed no one else had. Colton put it out there as his own and it was all right.

Erika Van Pelt: “Heaven”  She did well in rehearsals, but she was all over the place during the main performance. Ugh.

In between Erika and Skyler Ryan Seacrest announced officially that Jermaine Jones had been booted from the competition, complete with the rather embarrassing verbal finger-wagging conducted in a taped piece by executive producers Nigel Lythgoe and Ken Warwick. In my opinion, Jermaine should have been led away in a police car courtesy of the multiple warrants he had outstanding. But … that’s just me.

Skyler Laine: “Love Sneaking Up On You”  This wasn’t any sort of song for Skyler to be doing. She’s too much of a fireball to be attempting something Bonnie Raitt performs. It muffled her and reduced her and her style to battleship gray. Barely average.

Joshua Ledet: “When a Man Loves a Woman”  One of my favorite songs of all time. When I heard him intimate doing that hideous Michael Bolton version, I physically cringed. Fortunately, he steered away from that and made Percy Sledge proud by putting out attitude and character worthy of the classic, making it emote the way it should when sung. I gained a lot of respect for Joshua with this performance.

Holly Cavanagh: “Power of Love” No. I was not one of those people who even hinted at thoughts this could be the Huey Lewis song and not the Celine Dion one. Hollie has the pipes to put something like this out on the table, but she just wasn’t quite up to snuff in executing it. Pitch problems and lows when they should have been highs plagued her somewhat, but she came out all right in the end.

Bottom 3? I can’t come up with a definitive name for the third of the group, but I project Deandrea and Erika will be two of them.

Notes:

• Idol Powers That Be?  Jump on those background checks before you head into the main competition from this point forward. Jump on them with everybody. I don’t care how white their smile might be or how innocent they might sound because an injustice was committed this week. Jen Hirsh should have been there in Jermaine’s place. Reed Grimm should have been there. Adam Brock should have been there. And David Leathers Jr. should have been there. The fact they weren’t was a crime as bad as any Jermaine perpetrated. Get it? Got it? Good.

Quotes:

“He’s changed what it means to have a sick day.” — Jimmy Iovine on Phillip Phillips’ pending surgery for gall stones

“You gave it up so big God came out your eyes” — Steven on Joshua Ledet’s performance

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Mar 15, 2012 @ 00:49 EST5EDT