Quotation Marks – Baseball? Why baseball? It is so boring!

I’m excited that Chuck is back, but looking at the ratings I might be one of few. But the show’s bit about baseball was incredibly well timed, considering how events conspired to have the show go up against Game 7 of the World Series.

Chuck (Review)

“Premature zoom? Really? Crap. OK … OK, what do I do?” – Morgan
“Think about baseball.” – Chuck
“Baseball? Why baseball? I mean, come on. It is so boring; just pitch the damn ball already. And enough talk with the statistics. Chuck, do you know what slugging percentage is, because I don’t know what slugging percentage is, right? And honestly? Who the hell cares? [pauses] Alright, that worked.” – Morgan

Grimm (Review)

“This sounds like what happened a month ago at Munson Creek Falls …” – Nick
“Same deal. Hiker and a bobcat.” – Hank
“The bobcat wasn’t wearing a boot.” – Nick

Beavis and Butthead

“Pornography? What’s that?” – Beavis
“Uh … I think that’s, like, the study of porn?” – Butthead
“Yeah, this guy is a pornologist.” – Beavis

Happy Endings (Review)

“I want to be your wing-baby. I’ll wear a diaper all night.” – Max
“Not a selling point.” – Penny
“For me it is. Halloween is the Arbor Day of urinating.” – Max
“Wait, so that makes Arbor Day the Wimbledon of having sex?” – Brad
“Yes! You get me, bro.” – Max

“They named their house? Who names their house?” – Brad
“You named your favorite pair of sweatpants.” – Jane
“Hey, you leave Karen out of this.” – Brad

“Alex is super-cool. We split up a while back. Been doing my own thing lately. Loving being back in the game. Hate myself for calling it “the game,” but what are you gonna do? It’s the game.” – Dave

The Secret Circle (Review)

“Diana loved me, and the more I tried to be worthy of it, the better I got and the further I got from being you.” – Adam

“When Jake shows up, do you think you can keep him occupied?” – Cassie
“Why do you think I’m wearing this [points at her outfit]?” – Faye

The Big Bang Theory (Review)

“Want to see a comic I draw?” – Alice
“You’re kidding. You have your own book?” – Leonard
“Yeah, it’s kinda based on my life?” – Alice
“Oh … wow, look, here’s you having sex with a guy in the top half of a Chewbacca costume … Comic Con?” – Leonard
“You’d think that, but no.” – Alice 

“Well, they say at the end of your life you regret the things you didn’t do more than the things that you did. And I’m pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.” – Leonard

“[Making out with Alice] I can’t do this.” – Leonard
“Is it my tongue stud? Because if that freaks you out you’re in for a real surprise later on.” – Alice

Castle (Review)

“What happened?” – Beckett
“That’s it, that’s when all the camera signals cut out at once.” – Lulu
“And what could explain the picture suddenly going out like that?” – Beckett
“I don’t know. This has never happened before.” – Lulu
“Well, there was that last episode of the Sopranos.” – Castle

“I just saw Ryan downstairs. I can’t believe you let him go chasing ghosts with Castle.” – Esposito
“Yeah … Maybe Shaggy will keep Scooby out of trouble. Besides, you never know. Maybe they’ll come up with something useful.” – Beckett

How I Met Your Mother (Review)

“”e don’t want to rush anything, OK? So we decided to wait … until she decides to let me have sex with her.” – Barney

“The ‘Pork Authority’s’ closed … Looks like ‘Hand Central Station’ for you tonight.” – James

Man Up! (Review)

“Have a nice life as The Three Douche-keteers!” – Kenny to the guys

Pan Am (Review)

“[Kate takes the manifest from Colette] Yugoslavian, I think.” – Colette
“Who?” – Kate
“4C … Are you blind?” – Colette

“Jujubes?” – Dean
“That’s your first thought? Pathetic. Yes I stocked up, and yes, that’s pathetic. But this woman, this vivacious, voluptuous woman barely out the door and your mind goes to jujubes.” – Ted

“That woman looks like she’s about to fall. Should we wake her up?” – Laura
“Oh, God no. Second rule of the subway: never wake anyone up.” – Ted
“What’s the first rule?” – Laura
“Take a cab.” – Ted

Dancing with the Stars (Review)

“If you panic, just do a jazz hand. It worked for me … well, oh, no it didn’t.” – Carson Kressley, helping with the group number

“Welcome back to Dancing With the Stars. It’s Broadway Week, and it’s almost wrestling night.” – Tom Bergeron, after the Maks & Len war of words

“It’s a little early to be doing jazz hands, or should I say Chaz Hands?” – Lacey Schwimmer, on the way to group rehearsal

“Everybody! Nancy Grace just did a lift!” – Karina Smirnoff, in the group rehearsal

“Well, it’s been a night of hot dancing, great good humor, some heated words, and a lot of texting from the Kardashians.” – Tom Bergeron

The Walking Dead (Review)

“We get our ass kicked for a while, then we bounce back. It’s nature correcting herself … restoring some balance.” – Herchel, discussing the state of affairs with Rick

“You’re completely in over your head, aren’t you?” – Lori to Herchel
“Ma’am … aren’t we all?” – Herchel