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Desperate Housewives – The end is just the beginning

'Desperate Housewives' returns for its final season, and the big secret on Wisteria Lane brings us right back to where it all started.

- Season 8, Episode 1 - "Secrets That I Never
Want to Know"

"Desperate Housewives" - The final season premieres

The eighth and final season of Desperate Housewives picked up right where it left off with Carlos, Gaby and the women trying to figure out what to do with the body of Gaby’s stepfather, whom Carlos had killed in Gaby’s defense right before a dinner party. Bree rallied them all to move and bury the body, but the secret of what they had done will haunt them all — for the rest of the season, from the looks of things.

Now that Tom and Lynette are separated, I really want Lynette to move on. They tried to keep up the charade for the sake of the kids, but after Lynetter’s nightmare about Gaby’s stepfather sent her running into Tom’s arms (and his bed), making Tom think she really wanted him back, they finally broke the news to the kids. Good.

Of course, in addition to what should be the show’s season-long mystery, a new neighbor has moved in (Charles Mesure from V!), and unfortuately, the writers have decided that Renee will now be the “Slut of Wisteria Lane.” The guy hadn’t been moved in for five minutes before she was at his door offering him … “coffee.” Poor Renee wasn’t even a part of the hide-the-body plot, so I’m still disappointed with how they’re using Vanessa Williams.

Things are going to get interesting with Bree and Chuck with this secret hanging over her head. As Chuck is a detective, she claims it’s in all of their best interests for her to stay with him so that she can have all the inside information if he happens to find a body. When he did — but not the one she helped bury — and revealed he found the body because of a left-behind car, she and Gaby sprung into action trying to find her stepfather’s missing car. That had to be one of the funniest scenes on the show in quite some time.

Poor Susan is about to have a nervous breakdown, avoiding the girls, hardly talking to Mike, cleaning house, coping with a dead hamster at school. Things got so bad that she had to tell Mike, but the girls intervened. Carlos also wanted to confess to his priest, but the priest told him the only sure sign of repentance was to confess a crime to the police. That was not going to happen because of the other people involved.

Things got really juicy in the final moments as Bree found a card in her mailbox … with the same exact message on it that drove Mary Alice to commit suicide back in season one. My interest is piqued. What did you think of the final season premiere?

“Wake up! I’m making waffles.” — Juanita
“Come back when you learn how to make mimosas.” — Gaby

“There’s a lot of weird stuff you like to do in the bedroom. Cleaning? Not so much.” – Mike to a sleepless Susan

“Have a little funeral, say a few words … just don’t mention God. Amanda’s parents are atheists, lawyers and major douches.” — Susan’s co-worker on how to deal with a dead classroom pet

“Uh, I don’t know if you’ve ever buried anything before, but you have to dig a hole.” — Juanita to Susan

“I’m gonna go see the new neighbor. You know, give him a ride on the old Welcome Wagon.” — Renee

“Oh honey, relax. Since we caught bin Laden, you can stroll on the plane any time you want.” — Gaby to a passenger in a van she commandeered to take Father Dugan to Carlos

   

Photo Credit: ABC

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