Quotation Marks – Rookie Blue, The Voice, and Conan

Finally, the summer season is getting started. USA started to launch their summer lineup, which is always a solid, quotable affair. Even several of ABC’s scripted summer dramas show up in this column for a change … Who would have thunk it?

Combat Hospital (Review)

“Clean the blood of the floor so no one slips.” – Will
“No, you don’t understand, we’re doctors.” – Rebecca
“What, does that mean we have to show you how to mop the floor?” – Nurse

So You Think You Can Dance? (Review)

“You just danced with a world champion and you came up to scratch.” — Nigel Lythgoe

“I’m gonna be on medication for the rest of my life.” — Cat Deeley as things began to fall apart when the judges could not come to a decision on who to send home.

Rookie Blue (Review)

“[to people in line for a concert] Come on people, wait now, tweet later.” – Epstein

“[After Callaghan’s old partner say she wants to be the bad cop in the interrogation ] You guys used to partner together right?” – Jenkins
“Yeah.” – Callaghan
“Was she ever the good cop?” – Jenkins
“No.” – Callaghan

The Voice (Review)

“I’m having a hard time being articulate, because I’m so bummed out that I have to do this right now.” – Adam Levine, loathing his duty to eliminate artists

“Can I let you go, Carson?” – Adam
“I would for these three.” – Carson Daly, referring to Team Adam

“I believe that if someone didn’t allow you to be yourself, you’d kick their ass pretty good.” – Cee Lo to Beverly

“Chris [Martin] and Gwyneth [Paltrow] are both friends of mine.” – Cee Lo
“[Mockingly] I’m Cee Lo and I know celebrities.” – Adam

Burn Notice (Review)

“We can do this the easy way, or the way that involves an ambulance.” – Michael

“I forgot what a pain in the ass you can be, Westen.” – Raines
“Yeah, but I’m worth it.” – Michael

“Is this seriously how you do things?” – Max
“When I have to.” – Michael
“How are you still alive?” – Max
“That’s a good question. I eat a lot of yogurt.” – Michael

Conan

“I didn’t want you to drink my water.” — Adam Levine to Nick Kroll, rearranging the mugs on the Conan set following a seat change between the two
“It was fine as it was.” — Andy Richter to Adam
“How do you know?” — Adam to Andy
“Because it’s my goddamn job!” – Andy

Suits (Review)

“So I’d say the ball’s in your court, but the truth is your balls are in my fist.” – Harvey

The Soup

“In really, really unsettling celebrity relationship news, 51 year old former Lost actor Doug Hutchenson has married 16 year old country singer Courtney Stodden. When asked if they were planning on having a child, Doug replied, ‘Yes, for at least two more years, anyway.'” — Joel McHale

The Inbetweeners

“I’m very lucky to have you because you’re so boring.” — Will’s mom to her son before he leaves for his first concert

Futurama (Review)

“Wait! I found a loophole in the mortgage. If we actually pay it, we can keep the building!” — Hermes

“It was you men who drove this company into the ground. Remember Fry’s idea to offer free delivery?” — Leela
“It got us a lot of customers!” — Fry
“We’re a delivery company!” — Leela

“No no, this won’t do! A three month calendar?! What is this, Mercury?” — Professor Farnsworth

“Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts!” — Leela

“Enclosed is a PDF attachment: a picture of yourself, in a boat, on a river … it’s a river that flows in two directions … make that three … it’s a magic river, that’s how. And it’s flowing down the Eerie Canal to … The Scary Door … that’s ‘Eerie’ with two e’s.” — The Scary Door opening credits

“Man, I wish we had a robot to do stuff.” — Fry
“I know, right?” — Bender

“Wait, this isn’t a real Bender! It’s a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city robot that moves back to the farm.” — Amy
“Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin!” — Pull-string Bender doll

Virgin Diaries

Torchwood (Diary)

“You want to release a weevil in the middle of Cardif?” – Tosh
“Not exactly in the middle … a little to the side.” – Jack

“All of your staff has feelings, Jack. Even Owen.” – Gwen

“And look at you, trying so hard to be all grown up. The doctor, with his hands full of blood. The carer, with her oh-so-beating heart. The technician with her cold devices. Which leaves me with the office boy, promoted beyond his measure. All of you lost without your master.” — Blowfish

“Going home wouldn’t fix that. Being here, I’ve seen things I never dreamt I’d see, loved people I never would have know if I’d stayed where I was. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.” – Jack

“[Gets in Jack’s face, yelling] You’d know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy! So rather than ‘cock things up,’ I found you a way to get in! But if you can’t handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!” — Rhys
“This is quote homoerotic.” – Jack

Mad Men (Diary)

“I don’t know … You know who else doesn’t wear a hat? Elvis. That’s what we’re dealing with.” – Pete

“Drinking milk … I never liked it. I hate cows.” – Don

“There is no big lie. There is no system. The universe is indifferent.” – Don