It’s the first plunge into the new season on Dancing With The Stars.
Naturally for some, it’s going to be a frigid, cold plunge. For others not so much. Let’s jump in ourselves and get to gettin’ …
Chelsea Kane, Disney star, is spunky and flip. She’s got the youthful vigor to do what she needs to do out there and it showed. Being the first night, her fox trot was a little rough. (As it would be for every one of the stars.) But she’ll crank along just fine and improve along the way just as fine as fur.
Wendy Williams: ¡Aye, chihuahua! Wendy’s got to take it easy out there with her partner Tony Dovolani. Otherwise, she’s (?) going to break him in half at some point during the competition. He’s got his work cut out for him putting routines together and executing them with Wendy. Talk about someone who needs work. *eyesh*
Pittsburgh Steeler Hines Ward and his partner Kym Johnson took on a cha cha with surprising results. It appeared in the practice sessions he was going to be all thumbs, but he didn’t do too badly for a walking stiff. While he wasn’t polished by any stretch of the imagination, he certainly wasn’t one of The Walking Dead, either.
Super Model Petra Nemcova didn’t seem to have much problem with her fox trot … especially having a pelvis broken in four places not so long ago. She was impressive for a first run, garnering a solid 18 from the judges. Though stiff, she was smooth and professional.
Romeo, son of music mogul Percy Miller who was (infamously) on a previous incarnation of DWTS, might be light on this feet, but the guy dances like he’s got a potato chip up his butt and doing his best not to break it. His partner Chelsie Hightower said it all: Romeo’s got to cut loose and over-exaggerate what he’s doing if he’s going to move forward. Time will correct his stiff moves and time will also tell if he sticks around.
Sugar Ray Leonard: Ouch. “The Power Of Love” may have been the tune Sugar Ray and Anna Trebunsakaya danced to, but – outside the pink heart on his lapel – there wasn’t much love in their performance. None, matter’n fact. “The fox trot is wine and caviar. This was beer and a pizza,” Len claimed.
Reality Star Kendra Wilkinson: Yikes and yikes. Kendra may have been attempting a cha cha, but the pole dancer inside her has really got to get leached out of her system before she turns into something … anything … venturing toward a dancer.
Ralph Macchio: From the previews, it appeared he was on the road to committing a fox trot from hell … a performance to groan over. But you know what? He didn’t do half shabby for a first time ’round. He was fun to watch … and even the audience loved him. Highest score of the night with he and partner Karina Smirnoff garnering a swell 24.
Wrestler Chris Jericho: Cripes. I thought Romeo was stiff. (And he was.) Chris? Well … he didn’t really do much of anything out there on the floor, did he? He was just a big piece of beef moving around out there. (Moving? He was moving?) Dude needs work. Lots of it. “I think your hips are allergic to music,” Len supposed.
Psycho Mike Catherwood: When you’re pigeon-toed, it’s damn difficult to dance. That was proven grandly by Mike. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Kirstie Alley: Kirstie was a crack up during practice. Huffing and puffing and heaving and sighing. “If someone told me to haul ass, it would take two trips,” she confessed. And on the dance floor, she was even more Hillary-arious. See her bouncin’ one of “the girls” out there during the start of the routine! See her shakin’ the back of her front for everyone! See her moving those legs like there’s no tomorrow! In the end, Kirstie was fabulous. Work required for certain … but she was fabulous.
Overall? Not a bad DWTS premiere, chock full of laughs and surprises and a few winces here and there. It’s always a bit rough to head into something like this with so much overwhelming information hitting you up alongside the head, but things will smooth out and improve as the season chugs along.
Hopefully, the contestants won’t be chugging along after too much time, though. Usually, that’s a given. But you just never really know, do you?
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Mar 22, 2011 @ 13:00 EST5EDT
It really wasn’t a bad show for the first night. But..the biggest shocker was Ralph Macchino is 49? Boy, am I getting old. The biggest…WTF? Was that whateveritwas attached to the front of Brooke Burke’s dress.
I’m with Mikki. The numbers just don’t add up for Macchino. And how bizarre that he looks EXACTLY the same as he did at 15. Or maybe he was 25. I’m too old to do the math.
I’m afraid you and I are gong to have to duke it out about Christy, Michael. She is second only to Cloris Leechman for the most annoying award. And what’s worse…Christy will probably make it further.
As always, I enjoyed the review.
*POST AUTHOR*
. . . . .
Lois:
I often fail to find why I am attracted to what you have to say. But I am.
Have you noticed we’re always (verbally) “duking it out”? And that you are the one who is the instigator? (And don’t think you’re going to get away with use that “I’m just responding to your post” defense.)
And! Just as I’m preparing for the fisticuffs you soften your statement by saying something such as “As always, I enjoyed the review.” Like you usually do.
*puts on his Robert De Niro look, changes his voice ala Paul Viti and wags his finger*
“You. You’re good, you. No, no! You’re good …yes you are …”
Who’s Christy?!?!
*scrolling through list of dancers*
Who’s Christy?
I didn’t get to watch the show last night. Work and all that jazz. However, I have been following Kirstie and Maks aka Team G-Mak on Twitter/Facebook. Humorous folk.
That concludes my comment.
Marissa – PotAtoe, potAHtoe. Michael will vouch. Or perhaps not.
I thought Kristy did very good for her first time dancing and how out of shape she is. All in all a good show and an even better review!!! Bravo
Glad to see that Kristy did a good job. I feel sorry for her regarding all the fat jokes. So all I can say to her is “You go girl”. Ralph was very enjoyable to watch. He reminded me of Gene Kelly.
i’m with Mikki on Burke’s dress. Looked like she had a growth on her side.
So they said DWTS was on 12 years. I didn’t realize it was on before AI. Is that the case?
*POST AUTHOR*
. . . . .
Maureen:
12 seasons (incarnations) of the show … not 12 years.
The show is actually 6 years old. With the exception of the initial season in 2005, there have been pairs of seasons each year since 2006 – 2 seasons each in ’06, ’07, ’08, ’09 and ’10.
Idol actually began in 2002 …
Does everyone not know her name is KIRSTIE??? She was great, Ralph was great and I love me some Wendy Williams – because her show is a hot mess – but I was really sad to see her just walk through her number. Hopefully she’ll bring some of the real Wendy Williams juiciness next week.
*POST AUTHOR*
. . . . .
“Does everyone not know her name is KIRSTIE???”
Surely, sir, you are not speaking to ME …
Of course not! I’m just surprised at how many of the commenters don’t know her name after all these years (maybe I’m assuming they’re as old as I am … which just means I’m really old) and couldn’t copy the correct spelling from your post. Sorry, the writer in me is just nitpicky when it comes to getting those little things right.
For me, DWtS means more fodder for Joel McHale on The Soup. Between Wendy Williams and Kirstie Alley, this Friday is going to be GOOD.