Kitchen Nightmares – He’s heavy and he’s my brother

A new year and some fresh Gordon Ramsay. How lovely! And Kitchen Nightmares is a great way to enjoy my Gordon “light.” It’s in its fourth season now, but for those of you who’ve missed it, avoided it, or just are popular and busy on Friday nights, here’s the 411. Chef Ramsay enters a restaurant in trouble (at their request) and basically saves the day. It’s getting more difficult for him to do in this economy I’ve noticed, what with restaurants folding at the drop of a hat. He no longer leaves making a guarantee of success for the restaurant he’s just tried to help, as in past seasons. After all, what’s the first thing people cut back on in hard times? Dining out. Yet the show still floats my boat, as Gordon always leaves things much better than when he found them.

Take this week’s offered fare: the Spanish Pavilion. What a mess! Not only is it one of forty Spanish eateries in a four block radius, but it’s run by two brothers who can’t get along, and a mother who thinks it’s better not to get involved. Even though their only source of income is some 500K in debt. Yes, I said 500.

When my Gordon arrives, he tries the menu first as always. The lobster bisque tastes foul, and after a bit of detective work, Gordon figures out why. Seems the lobster you choose for your meal, and the ones included in the soup are plunked from the “live” tank in the corner. Only Gordon finds a deceased fellow in there, who’s contaminating everyone else with bacteria. Yum.

It doesn’t get much better when my hottie chef investigates the freezers and fridges. Complete with a live pigeon poking around (who Gordon calls the “freshest thing in the place”) we see spoiled chickens, more hiding dead lobsters, and thousands of dollars of rotting produce.

All this, and more, we find is the fault of the “wacko” brother and co- owner Michael. This guy proves to be volitile, delusional and downright creepy in his actions. And he’s the one who requested that Gordon come out to help! Supposedly, he’s the head chef, yet cooks nary at all, not even food for Gordon himself. Michael actually tells Gordon, when confronted with the lobster who “passed away” in the tank, filling it with bacteria, “That lobster’s fresh. Even though it died, it’s good.”

Yeesh. Gordon had nothing less than intense behavioral therapy to do with this guy to get him on board. He had to calm his rage (no I’m not kidding), talk him down, teach him to order for the kitchen, remake the restaurant and menu, and support the “normal” brother Jerry. It was nothing less than genius! But just another day in the life of my English hero.

And seriously, if you’re like my sister and G.R. makes you so nervous you want to tear out each hair follicle, you’ll like him on KN. Trust me and come along for the ride. But make sure you know where you’re eating. Cause the whole concept is a bit scary. Sometimes I wish all restaurants would have to adopt the “A,B,C” ratings they had in California when I lived there. There, at least you knew if you picked a “C” rating card in a restaurant window … you were on your own matey.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jan 22, 2011 @ 10:00 EST5EDT