Saturday Night Live – Jeff Bridges / Eminem

Cold Open: Christmas in Washington — Alright this was pretty good, especially Joe Biden’s Christmas wishes. If anything political is gonna go down on SNL, just bring in Joe Biden and it’s funny.

Monologue: Jeff Bridges — Hey, I got one of my picks for guest hosts right for once! I’d say I won the game if I’d had Cookie Monster on my list, too, right? Great surprise having that bonus during the monologue, even if it wasn’t for the entire episode.

Julian Assange Interrupts Mark Zuckerberg — God I love Samberg’s Zuckerberg impression; and the Julian Assange stuff isn’t getting old yet, is it?

The Miley Cyrus Show — Man, not only was the bong smoking news a week late, but they did so little with it, and even less with Jeff Bridges as Nick Nolte!

I Just Had Sex — Of course you knew it was coming: The lyrics!

Sometimes
Something beautiful happens in this world
And you don’t know how to express yourself, so
You just gotta sing

I just had sex
And it felt so good (felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I just had sex
And I’ll never go back (never go back)
To the not having sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex?
I have, it felt great
It felt so good when I did it with my penis
A girl let me do it
It literally just happened
Having sex can make a nice man of the meanest

Never guess where I just came from
I had sex
If I had to describe the feeling
It was the best
When I had the sex, man my penis felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh, hey, didn’t see you there. Guess what I just did?
Had sex. Undressed, saw her boobies and the rest.
Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing
Nice of any girl ever
Now sing

I just had sex
And it felt so good (felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
Wanna tell the world

To be honest, I’m surprised she even wanted me to do it
Doesn’t really make sense
But man, screw it
I ain’t one to argue with a good thing
She could be my wife
That good?
The best 30 seconds of my life

I’m so humbled by a girl’s ability to let me do her
Because honestly I’d have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind, the soft, nice smelling girl’s better
But she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater

So this one’s dedicated to them girls
Who let us flop around on top of them
If you’re near of far
Whether short or tall
Want to thank you all for letting us fuck you

She kept looking at her watch (Doesn’t matter, had sex)
But I cried the whole time (Doesn’t matter, had sex)
Think she might’ve been a racist (Doesn’t matter, had sex)
She put a bag on my head (Still counts)

I just had sex
And my dreams came true (dreams came true)
If you’ve had sex in the last 30 minutes
Then you’re qualified to sing with me

I just had sex
And it felt so good (felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her (wanna tell the world)
I just had sex
And I’ll never go back (no no no no)
To the not having sex ways of the past (felt great)

Larry King Live — Wow, I just realized this is likely the last time we’ll see a Larry King Live sketch on SNL, now that King’s show is over!

Crunkmas Karnival — These sketches are always a blast, though this one somehow seemed tamer than the last, didn’t it? What, no arming the audience with chainsaws this time?

Weekend Update — Is it just me or was that Brad Pitt impression awful? Blah! But that rendition of “Oh Christmas Tree” was just about up there with the Frankenstein, Tonto and Tarzan Christmas song from the good ol’ days … but still, not as good.

Musical Guest: Eminem — Well, if you didn’t know what you were getting when you saw Eminem was the musical guest, then you’re more out of touch than I am. So … we got what anyone pretty much expected.

This You Call a Wonderful Life?! — All this sketch made me think of was the great sketch with Dana Carvey, with the missing ending to It’s a Wonderful Life. Still, though, this was pretty good.

Jeff’d — I feel like I was just Jeff’d into believing someone found this sketch should run on so long and we should find it hilarious.

Gift Wrapping West — For a second-to-last sketch, this was OK. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to expect anymore out of SNL sketches. Is this the best they can come up with? Really, no capping it off with The Dude or, hell, a Tron shout-out?

A Holiday Message From The Kardashians — These three ladies do one hell of a job making me understand why I will never tune into a show featuring the real Kardashians.

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Dec 19, 2010 @ 01:12 EST5EDT