Hell’s Kitchen – And the winner is …

Well luvs. I have to make this quick, as I am packing a bag and spending the holidays with my Gordon in Northcambridgebrook, New Stratfordshire. There, we’ll share an amazing Christmas pudding with Kate and Will as our guests. Oops. Keep that part quiet, as I was not supposed to alert the paparazzi in any way. Kate is so shy. But what a ribald sense of humor when you get a few mulled wines into her! In fact, she told me the best story about Camilla … however that’s neither here nor there.

What is both here and there is my final review of Hell’s Kitchen for this season.

As I mentioned last week, I had my hopes set on Nona. Not because I thought she deserved to be the head chef of L.A. Market, the winner of $250K and the spokesperson for Rosemount wine. No, but because I have found Russell to be so abrasive, cocky and aggressive all season, that it was a simple case of rooting against for me. If Russell had won, it would be like changing the end of A Christmas Carol to Scrooge kicking Tiny Tim in the ass, instead of hoisting him aloft and promising the best doctors to make him well. And who’d want to see that for Dickens’ sake?

Look, I’ve heard you. I know a lot of you just can’t stand Gordon Ramsay because of his screaming and puts downs to the contestants. But I offer this: Maybe there’s been a Christmas miracle! Because instead of choosing the one finalist most like himself in negative qualities, my Gordon chose a hard working tatoo-ridden Mom, who missed her own child’s first steps to take part in this competition. Maybe. Just maybe Gordon gave us a holiday gift this year, by sparing the employees of L.A. Market a horrible Burgermeister Meisterburger-like boss (whose last name is coincidentally “Kook”, which just makes me laugh myself silly.)

So many times, these reality shows let me down in the final moments. But I’m just great with Russell getting his spatula shoved, um … in his hand and shown the door. This guy has some serious issues with juggling his own ego (made up of chains he’s forged in life) and threatening people with physical violence. So. While he may have been the better chef, all’s well.

And Russell. It was not your team’s fault you lost. It was yours. You practically came to blows with Rob. Picking Vinny to be on your team was an extremely stupid move. And you know what? You can’t continually threaten to harm others on camera. Yeesh. If there’s even more justice in this whole thing, Russell will end up with no job offers just after the way he exited the show, by saying his team members will never work in a city he does, and calling for a black balling on them all.

Yow.

See you all next season my dear ones. And God bless us. Everyone!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:18 EST5EDT