I was surprised at just how uncomfortable some of the folks looked on Skating with the Stars. You can tell by the photo above that it was not Vince Neil’s best day, and Bethenny Frankel had no grace at all. Sean Young looked like she had a stick up her ass, but it was host Vern Kay whole stole the show. He had the quotes of the week, featured below!
“Teenagers — they can make you homicidal.” – Olivia’s dad
“I know what you mean.” – Dexter
“What are you, man, some kind of psycho?” – Olivia’s dad
“Not today. Just a concerned parent.” – Dexter
“If you like watching stars fall over — and who doesn’t? — you’ve come to the right place!” – Vern gushed at the start of the show
“Still standing — so far, so good!” – Vern noted part way through the show
At mid point he exclaimed: “The first part of our competition is complete … and we’re still in one piece!”
“Tune in next week for Round Two!” – Vern cried as he held up all five fingers of his left hand.
“Yeah, you should go back.” – Adam to Russell, after Russell snuck out on a one night stand
“Can you go back, though? Can you un-scadoodle?” – Russell
“Yeah, yeah, if you really like her, why not?” – Adam
“Yeah, I do. Alright, I’m going back.” – Russell
“Uch. It’s like running over a bunny with your car, and then getting out and shooting it.” – Audrey
“Things I am most passionate about: Extreme Taxidermy, Tantric Yelling, Poking the Elderly with Hidden Pins …” – Sue’s online dating profile
“Are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get kind of messy?” – Finn
“That’s why we feed them glitter, Finn.” – Kurt
“Marsha, I’ll bet people say you look mannish. But you know something? I think it’s perfectly alright for a woman to be handsome.” – Doris to Sue’s wedding planner
“And to think I was going to send you to Israel for your honeymoon. They love me there.” – Alleged Nazi hunter Doris Sylvester after being dismissed from Sue’s wedding
“Besides, I miss my office. This room smells weird. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m inhaling a lot of dead skin.” – Sue after resigning as principal
“How could you forget Thanksgiving?” – Sabrina
“We don’t really think of it as Thanksgiving, we think of it as the only Thursday of the year we don’t have to work. Well, that and Senior Skip Day, which my dad still celebrates.” – Jimmy
“I’ve never met Hope’s grandparents.” – Jimmy
“Lucy never introduced you during your storybook romantic courtship? Oh, right, you did it in the back of your van and then she was executed.” – Sabrina
“You know, it cheapens it when you say it like that.” – Jimmy
“You always make me out to be such a monster… with your beady eyes and Ruth Buzzi haircut.” – Virginia
Clacked by Carissa Pavlica 
on Nov 28, 2010 @ 16:57 EST5EDT
. . . . .
That Vern Kay!
He’s a card, he is!