South Park – Who the hell is Bradley Biggle? He’s Mintberry Crunch!

“I die all the time! And you assholes never remember!” – Mysterion (Kenny)
“Uh, I think we would remember you dying, dude.” – Stan

“The Coon teamed up with Cthulhu, because even Cthulhu knows what evil assholes Kyle and Stan and those guys are, and that they are manipulative, uncaring vagina faces!” – The Coon (Cartman)

“Cartman, if you team up with the most evil thing in the universe, then clearly you are the bad guy.” – Kyle
“No, ‘cuz it’s for the greater good. Like when Superman teamed up with Lex Luthor.” – Cartman
“Superman never teamed up with Lex Luthor!” – Kyle
“… Well then that’s why Superman isn’t around anymore, isn’t it?” – Cartman

“With minty coolness he headed back home, and heroically watched Judge Judy, knowing his superhero friends were probably just fine without him.” – Mintberry Crunch voiceover

“The dark and evil Cthulhu is bringing his angry wrath down upon the Burning Man festival, Tom. Cthulhu isn’t behaving as most scientists have speculated, Tom, but the dark lord is wreaking havoc everywhere, and …” – News reporter
“No no no no. Excuse me! It is not Cthulhu, it is ‘Coon and Friend.’ I’m a little sick of everyone giving him all the credit, when I’m the one really making the world a better place.” – Cartman
“Tom, it appears Bruce Vilanch has appeared on the scene, wearing a rat costume.” – Reporter
“Oh, you mother fucker. Cthulhu! This guy too!” – Cartman

“I thought that when Cthulhu rose from the depths, all was gonna be darkness and pain. I thought at least school would be canceled.” – Goth kid

“You’ve been to the nightmare city of R’yleh?” – Goth kid
“Luck-ay.” – Other goth kid

Thanks to Coon and Friends, the country would soon be rid of all evil. But first, they would come up against their most challenging and most evil opponent: Justin Bieber. In order to save the Earth, this little butthole had to be stopped.” – Cartman

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Nov 10, 2010 @ 22:54 EST5EDT