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Mad Men – In the ’60s, men only married strangers

Don made a shocking decision on the season finale of 'Mad Men,' but it was by no means an unusual one for a man in his world to make.

The season finale of Mad Men was filled with surprises — the biggest one, of course, was a surprise even to the parties involved. I’m talking, of course about Don and Megan’s engagement. It was such a surprise, in fact, that I didn’t even remember that Don’s secretary was named Megan. The shocking part of this turn of events wasn’t that Don married his secretary (because who hasn’t done that?); it was that he chose his secretary over Faye, the “perfect woman.”

Faye was wonderful: she was smart, Don respected her, and she was miles above Betty in terms of actually having the potential to be Don’s partner. It finally seemed as though Don had found the perfect wife. So what went wrong? Well, all of those things really. That’s the irony: the same qualities that attracted Don to Faye and made them such a perfect couple are the same qualities that meant they would never be together.

Don needs somebody safe. He needs someone who is good with his kids and knows how much starch he likes on his shirts. He needs someone who’s used to taking his orders and supporting him in his career — not someone who knows about Dick Whitman.

Faye was too perfect; too much of an equal. Don is capable of being intimate, but someone who knows all of his secrets? Who has seen him at his absolute worst? That’s a little too intimate. This confounding behavior is in no way exclusive to Don. Take Roger Sterling, for example. He did the basically the same thing a few years ago.

He had a relationship with Joan Holloway; a gorgeous, smart, independent woman who stood out from the crowd. However, when he finally left his wife, he didn’t marry her — he married the younger, boring Jane. The safe alternative to the woman who knows all of his secrets.

Roger may be in love with Joan, but notice that this season, as he was trying to carry on an affair with her, he never made any mention of leaving his wife. When Joan got pregnant, “we’ll raise the baby together” was never an option. it was, “take care of it,” without a second thought. However, once Roger lost Lucky Strike and he needed someone to confide in, it was Joan he went to — not Jane.

Don, however, will probably fare a little bit better in his marriage than Roger has. He’ll undoubtedly cheat on Megan, because as Faye so eloquently put it, he “only likes the beginnings of things.” But if we’re comparing secretaries, Megan is leaps and bounds above Jane: she’s educated, mature (Jane is nothing more than a pouty child), and great with the kids. While Betty is cold, distant, and petty toward her children, Megan is warm and engaged.

The milkshake incident in the diner was definitely the event that made Don’s decision for him. We found out in the beginning of the series that when it comes to the children, Betty is much harder on them than Don is. Betty wanted Don to hit Bobby, but as an abused child himself, Don wasn’t interested in going down that route. However, his general self-centeredness and years of Betty’s parenting influence has made him quick to anger.

Watching Don’s face after Sally spilled the milkshake was a revelation: his first instinct was anger, but after being faced with Megan’s unflappability, it quickly changed to first chagrin at his own behavior, and then wonder at hers. When she calmly dealt with a situation that would have ended with Betty yelling at the children and sending them back up to the hotel room, you could see his shock at the possibility that parenting could actually be done in another way.

Roger latched on to Jane after his heart attacks because she was young, she was uncomplicated, and above all, she made him believe that the possibility of his own death was a little bit further away. Don latched onto Megan because she represents the ideal family that he’s always been striving for, but that he’ll never allow himself to truly have. These women are ideals; they’re not reality. Next season we get to see what happens after the fog clears and these men are faced with the results of their decisions.

Photo Credit: AMC

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