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CommercialClack – Twister!

Tara & Michael banter about a 50 year-old 'game that ties you up in knots'. And, somehow, Archie, Woodstock and Screaming Yellow Zonkers get tossed in the mix.

Tara: I’m so glad it was my pick this week! I still remember all the lyrics to this jingle. And believe me, I was practically a zygote, so that’s pretty amazing in itself. Twister was good clean fun. Kids today would probably be bored as hell or turn it into something kinky. Oh no. Did I just say “kids today”? Help me.

No, I’m serious Michael. Help me up! My back went out on right hand blue….

Michael: *ignores Tara’s outstretched hand* I confess: I don’t remember a lick of the lyrics … even after having seen and heard the thing again. The kicker for me is the old schoolness of this video. The people playing are layered in so much clothing they look like they’re ready for winter! Amazing!

Tara: Yeah, just goes to show you how much things have changed in television since then. I mean, I was watching Louie (exec. produced by the comic Louis CK) last night on FX. And even at 11 o’clock, he can say whatever he wants. I mean REALLY. Like the C word and the P word and stuff. But I digress.

I was kinda creeped out by the old guy in this ad. Ew. Why is he playing? Who wants to play Twister with their Grandpa?

Michael: I had a … how do you say … ‘removed’ Uncle Louie once. Talk about someone who said whatever he wanted.

Who’d want to play Twister with their Grandpa? Well … me, for one. It would have been a short game. He would have laughed so hard his false teeth would have fallen out and he wouldn’t’ve been able to hold himself up. I would have paid cash money to have seen that …

Tara: Hears ya. My grandparents were all playing the giant game of Twister in the sky by the time I was born. But hey! Don’t you think that the red haired guy and blond chick pictured on the front of the board game remind you of Archie and Veronica? I wonder if Milton Bradley had a stake in the Archie comics as well….

Michael: No, the blond chick does not remind me of Veronica. Why? Because Veronica’s hair is black. Archie and Betty, perhaps, you goof. Have you been chewing Chantix?

Tara: You knew what I meant. If I was Louis CK, I might call you an S Word right now. But I’m me, so I will just call you a Buttmunch. Buttmunch! I’m going to have some Screaming Yellow Zonkers and practice my Twister moves for this weekend now.

Michael: Hokay … but one more thing while you’re ‘practicing': Why did they have to play in their ‘stocking feet’ as demanded by the girl singing in the video? Did everyone have raging, uncontrollable athlete’s foot in the ’60s … thus the need to keep their socks on?

Tara: They probably thought they could get pregnant/get someone pregnant by going barefoot. Woodstock shot all that to hell….

Michael: … which goes back to all the clothes being worn, as the Milton Bradley company was accused of packaging “sex in a box” with this mega-popular game. The beginning of the end of innocence, it appears….

Photo Credit: Milton Bradley

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8 Responses to “CommercialClack – Twister!”

September 10, 2010 at 10:15 AM

We played a hybrid of kick the can! We were ninjas, “disposing” of enemy combatants was allowed, and a bag of flour was required. Really, the kids these days don’t know what they are missing!

September 10, 2010 at 1:01 PM

When I was a kid, TV wasn’t available in most homes (I was 10 when we got our first one) and all the kids would be out in the street every night playing. Hide and Seek, and Kick the Can (when we could find a can!) and Tag, of course. Street Baseball. Parents would sit outside on the steps with a can o’ beer and yell at us. Good times!

September 10, 2010 at 3:39 PM

Kick the Can was my favorite! I always hated it when the street lights came on and I could hear my Dad whistling for me to come home … Who remembers the rules? Anyone? Bueller?

September 10, 2010 at 1:09 PM

Jarts I impaled a cousin with those bad boys many moons ago, some fun!

Personally, I think Michael and Tara should have made a new video to demonstrate Twister :)

September 10, 2010 at 2:31 PM

. . . . .

See?!? That’s what I mean! Jarts were groovy back then!

As a kid, I loved Jarts just as much as blowing stuff up! We had more fun with those things than a barrel of monkeys. Half the fun of the game was avoiding the flesh-piercing tips of the Jart from some goonie neighborhood kid who couldn’t toss a wadded-up piece of paper into a waste basket from two feet away. Oh, what fun we had!

You know … it’s no small wonder I’m still alive and kicking …

September 10, 2010 at 8:31 PM

I don’t even remember thinking Jarts were dangerous, that’s how much the times have changed!

September 10, 2010 at 10:28 PM

Red Rover, Red Rover, let [whoever] come over…

And a kid would come flying over and try to break through the line and fingers would get broken.

Seriously, I like bocce ball. We played that at family picnics.

September 10, 2010 at 10:35 PM

The girl’s expression at 42 seconds looks like she’s being attacked! :o No wonder people thought this game was naughty!

My dad and his brothers all love bocce ball, but I’m more of a croquet girl.

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