Tara: You know what I love? A commercial that is 30 seconds long, but takes an additional full minute to explain the 57 zillion ways you could die from using their product. Holy Minoley!
Michael: *swoon* Ain’t the medical industry grand?
And! Here’s the thing that made me sit down and put cream in my coffee: “Some people have had … suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping Chantix” … !!! Cripes and cripes … !!! For Pete’s sake: Forget the stuff and just keep smokin’, already … !!!
Tara: Compared to all the other things they list, it might be just as well. I mean, what’s next that “they” haven’t discovered yet? Eyebrow warts? Imploding salivary glands?
Michael: I wonder: How would salivary glands would implode …
Tara: Desire to howl at the moon while wearing diapers?
Michael: Inability to deal properly on the social networks!
Tara: Need to only eat only corn for a solid month?
Michael: No nutritional value there. That’s a doozy of a side effect. Just eating corn for an entire month would kill someone quickly …
Tara: Answering all your mother’s questions by just barking? (Wait. That’d be kind of fun …)
Michael: “Purchase Chantix within the next 20 minutes and we guarantee your mother won’t recognize what you’re saying … ever again!”
Tara: Shifty eyes? (I hate shifty eyes.)
Michael: If it causes shifty eyes, then let me tell you: There are a lot of people out there on Chantix right this very moment …
Tara: Webbed feet?
Michael: But you could swim well … !!!
Tara: Compulsive need to shop for air fresheners?
Michael: But your home would have that ‘just-cleaned fresh scent’! Where’s the downside?
Tara: Some people have experienced problems at work. These include …
Michael: Breaking out in song in the middle of a staff meetings! Forcing personal-sized frozen pizza in your disc drive! Incessantly asking co-workers if they’ve figured out the ending to Lost yet! The continuous need to view I Love Lucy while scanning the internet! The inability to write e-mails without signing them, “Love, Gordon Ramsay” … !!!
Tara: That last one is the most serious side effect of all! You can’t lead people on that way!
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Sep 05, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
I think the human race has spread like an unwanted fungus and we need to thin the herd. Maybe we should all be required to take a course of Chatix and BAM the world is a greener place.
Chantix to save the earth! Somebody call Al Gore and get him on this!
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There are days when ‘the thinning of the herd’ sounds good, bronsont …
Pretty bad the ratio of advertisement to side effects there! I think I’d rather keep smoking, if I smoked.
I’m actually concerned that some of the side effects are “when stopping Chantix,” but if you have these more serious side effects, you’re supposed to stop? So, am I stopping stopping Chantix? I’m confused!
True story:
A former co-worker has used CHANTIX twice in two years. She’s also on a list of other Big Pharma meds including heart meds and Ambien. She’s a seasonal smoker, you see. In the bitter cold of winter it is too frigid to smoke outdoors. Smoking has been banned everywhere including her own home she shares with no one. She hates the lingering odor. Anywho, once the first bud of Spring shows up, she’s back to lighting up Marlboro Lights.
She says while she has had no suicidal thoughts, she has had dreams about murder.
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Michael <——- glad he's healthy
That is all.
Lose-Lose situation. Stop smoking without Chantix..you want to kill someone. Stop smoking with chantix..you wanna off yourself. Light up baby!
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It’s a vicious circle, Mikki …
LOL
I love how she mentions dogs before family!
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Chantix obviously makes one prone to ‘intermixing priorities’ as well, it would appear.
FDA regulations require any pharma commercial to include a “major statement” regarding the side effects. After all, there might be some idiot watching, who is too irresponsible to get educated by their doctor – and if that idiot takes the drug and experiences the side effects, they will sue (because “no one explained the side effects to me”). End result: the product is more expensive, and the commercials are long and boring.
Don’t they pretty much have to mention them all? Like if one ass killed himself after using Chantix, they can’t take the chanctix that another won’t as well. How would you know suicide is a side effect? Kinda hard to complete the survey after that.
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And that, right there, is why I am glad I am not in the medical industry, Ruby.
It’s insane.
I know someone who used Chantix to quit smoking – it really did help – but the physical side effects were pretty severe. And come to think of it, he now has discovered a salivary gland infection and that is one of the worst things you could ever have! Hmmmmmm.
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No doubt one of Chantix’ side effects …
I think that if you have a product, and you are mandated on TV or radio to state all the side effects, and it comes out like this, well … stick to print. Or push it with doctors in their offices. It just looks ridiculous in a TV format.