Diary of a Curb Your Enthusiasm virgin – Where was Kobe?

(Season 2, Episodes 7-8)

I accept the fact that Curb takes place in LA, and that it’s dated as far as when the episodes were originally shot. But you’ll never convince me that Shaquille O’Neal, even in his prime, was much more than a large object placed in a small area on a basketball court. To call him one of the “greats,” putting him in the company of centers like George Mikan, Bill Walton, Moses Malone, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and Bill Russell is insane.

2.7 “The Doll”

I wonder why ABC was the next logical step in shopping Larry and Julia’s project around. Were Starz and Showtime not in the original programming game back in 2001? It’s rather awkward that Jason Alexander is shopping his own show to ABC … does he know that Larry abandoned him? When’s their showdown coming?

Amy the Hall Monitor (Merrin Dungey) gave me a bad vibe, but I found out that it’s the actress, and not the character — she played Kitty Kenarban on Malcolm in the Middle, the terrible woman who left her son Stevie (for shame!) and husband Abe (I hear that).

It should quite possibly be illegal to build a bathroom without a locking door. Obviously it was due to come back to Cheryl not guarding the door for Larry after Larry failed to do so for her, but it was the original premise that stunk on that one. Illegal not to have a locking door on a bathroom. Period.

Larry shouldn’t be allowed around kids. Not just because he cut a doll’s hair, but in general. Something else for a legislative body to look into. That Headless Judy was horrible, and sticking the head down his pants before giving it to a little girl? Come on guy!

Jeff’s faith in his family is very telling. Oh, sure, they’ll never notice anything. Maybe it’s that attitude that got him into the mess he’s currently in with Susie.

2.8 “Shaq”

It’s great how Curb plots come back around full circle every episode, but sometimes the setups are plain lazy. Larry getting asked to both write a letter of recommendation and a page for a birthday book all at the same dinner? First of all, who would want him to do either? But second, really?

Anyway, obviously both requests were going to be rescinded after Larry the Knicks fan accidentally tripped Shaq while sitting courtside (awesome seats!) at a Lakers game, knocking the center out for two months. By the way, if Jeff has such great seats, why’d he and Larry need the NBC exec’s in season seven?

I laughed hard when Shaq got called the “best player that ever lived,” but even harder at the thought of Shaq being a huge Seinfeld fan. Those are just two images in my head that I never would have made coexist. But who knows. Funny how even Larry could only get all the episodes on VHS tape … it was a long time before Jerry Seinfeld agreed to make the DVDs.

What I really enjoyed about this episode was how wonderful Larry’s life became (in his eyes) when people began to hate him as much as he hates people. Seeing him dancing around the coffee shop was hilarious. Too bad life had to go back to being miserable for him.

Three other notable guest appearances on the episode, one good and two bad. Aisha Tyler as Shaq’s girlfriend was a bit bumbling, but then again I’m not a fan in the first place. Paul Dooley was back as Cheryl’s father … he is very irritating in the role. But Joel McKinnon Miller, as Dr. Craig Wiggins, was awesome. You know JiMKiM, as I (do not) like to call him, right? That’s Don Embry from Big Love, folks! Good to see him here as the Lakers doctor, and a non-fan of Larry’s. You gotta love those guest spots.

I loved Larry plunking money down on the table at the restaurant, and nothing that he and Cheryl ordered could have cost $115. He didn’t really need someone to tell him what was enough, though. Put down as much as you estimate your meal, tax, and tip to be, and be done with it.

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Aug 13, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT