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Hell’s Kitchen – So much for not f%#king swearing!

I know you've been waiting with breath that is bated for part two of my 'Hell's Kitchen' review. So here it is! C'mon, what else do you have to do? Play along!

- Season 7, Episode 5 - "Season 7, Episode 5"

Gordon Ramsay trying not to swear during dinner service is like my cat Nina trying to hold in a hairball. It just won’t happen. So maybe he shouldn’t fill Hell’s Kitchen with kids?

I’m ahead of myself. When we last left Gordon and his crew, we happily waved Maria and her meltdowns a fond farewell. In the second episode this week, we begin with Nilka. Boy is she mad! You see, her team put her up for elimination without telling her at the end of the previous show, and Gordon saved her. And rightfully so. Nilka did not deserve to be up there at all, compared to say, Scott or Siobhan. So she lets the Red Team have it big time, with a lot of “kiss my asses,” and says she’s never talking to any of them again except in the kitchen.

This is the problem with the women’s team plus Scott. Infighting and egos, with the inability to cook thrown in. These people are doomed.

Which they show when they lose yet another challenge. The Mother Sauce Challenge. Did you know there are five different kinds of Mother sauces? Yep. Me neither. They include demi-glace, tomato, hollandaise, veloute, and bechamel. The challenge is for each team to make a dish for each sauce. The judges are Gordon, his Mum, and … Gordon’s wife. Again with the wife! Why must he torture me? She’s not even all that either. And she’s a picky lil thing. “The pasta’s undercooked! The sauce is bland!” Whiner. Anyway….

After the required punishments and rewards, dinner service kicks in. Gordon declares it “Family Night” in HK . Lawd. Really? Gordon tells the teams, “There’s going to be a lot of kids in here tonight. Don’t make me f@#king swear!” Oh boy. That lasts about a half hour. Once Salvatore messes up the risotto, it’s a cussing free for all. This amuses the kids in the dining room to no end. But it had me wondering what kind of parents would take their child to Hell’s Kitchen? Where do you go for dessert, a strip club?

Face it, Gordon is not the greatest influence. Take, for example, the little girl we see drawing at her table while she waits for her spaghetti. Maitre D John Phillipe asks her to show him her picture, which turns out to be Gordon screaming, “You DONKEY!” I had to chortle at J.P.’s response to this. “Whatever Gordon Ramsay says now and then? Don’t use it.” Perfect!

As Gordon himself reflects, “So much for not f#%king swearing.”

Dinner service doesn’t get better. In fact, Gordon completely flips his lid, and kicks the entire Red Team out of the kitchen. Andi and Scott, his sous chefs, help Gordon finish service. Of course, the Red Team loses and must pick two for elimination time. Fran and Scott get called down once more, and this is where Scott makes a very noisy exit. All along, this clown has been one cocky, um … person. While making mistake after mistake, and blaming and blaming and making excuse after excuse. He keeps pointing out that he’s the only one on his team with fine dining experience. I wonder just where this place is, and what their standards are. ‘Cause Scott has proven he can’t cook meat, fish, eggs or garnishes! Huh?

Scott should have gone long ago. And if there weren’t so many other abysmal contestants, he would have. As we watch him turn over his chef coat, Gordon tells us his feelings.

“If Scott could cook as good as he talks, he’d be the winner of Hell’s Kitchen. Unfortunately, he can’t.”

Same time next week, my lovelies!

Photo Credit: Fox

One Response to “Hell’s Kitchen – So much for not f%#king swearing!”

June 23, 2010 at 10:14 PM

. . . . .

“Face it, Gordon is not the greatest influence.”

Good advice? Or … living vicariously through your conscience?

*sings mightily* “I wonder … I wonder … I wonder … who grew The Freakies Tree …”

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