Remember last week? When I said that I hoped there was a doctor on set in case my Gordon Ramsay keels over on the set of Hell’s Kitchen? Well, “Infinity!” as Pee Wee Herman would say. Gordon is losing it fast and furious, and early in the season this time around. I wonder. Did one of you tell him that I’m married? I mean, he’s obviously all sweaty about something. Which one of you undercooked the risotto … I mean, spilled the beans? Now I will have to fly to New Hampstead Frankenshire and sooth his ruffly feathers. But, that’s my problem. Gordon has many more things to deal with, i.e. the ridiculous assortment of potential chefs at his disposal. But some of it has to do with me, I’m sure. *wink wink nudge nudge say no more*
This week, a lot of time was wasted on the first challenge, which was cooking eggs. Yes, I said eggs. The Red (women) and Blue (men) teams were paired off and asked to cook an egg four different ways. Actually, I shouldn’t scoff, as the husband and I are constantly searching our burg for a restaurant that can make an egg the way we order them. Apparently, it is rather difficult. The men only won by a point. But, I’ve noticed, all challenges are tied until the last second. Really? Um, yes. It’s to keep us watching. I’ve got your number, you wiley producers!
In the “egg-off,” the teams are outnumbered. So Gordon asks Siobhan to make her eggs alone. (Insert you own joke here.) Siobhan is frazzled, so crafty Autumn offers to help. Long story short, Siobhan gets busted for not doing what Gordon asked. When called on the carpet she cries, and tries to blame Autumn. Gordon screams at her to “Get a grip,” which makes her cry harder. And she pretty much cries all morning, while Autumn proclaims herself the “fall guy” of the season. She’s a devious one. There’s one in every bunch.
The women are punished by having to unload, gut, and skin a 200 pound-ish tuna. The men get to go on a helicopter ride and have lunch with “call me Gordon when we’re out of the kitchen.”
How fun would that be? And even though Salvatore kisses some Gordon butt, he won’t be safe come dinner service. Just before it begins, Gordon singles him out to name the desserts on the menu. He stutters and stammers and just can’t. So he gets booted out until he can. That’s where my headline comes in. And Gordon’s right. They all should know the menu back and forth by now. It’s the most important thing, after all.
So dinner service begins. I must say that pots, garbage cans, and fish all get punched by Gordon in frustration. Andrew talks back about runny mashed potatoes, and Gordon gets up in his grill and calls him “a f’ing disgrace to the industry,” and kicks him out through the dining room. Andrew keeps on walking, saying he doesn’t need Gordon. Only the second time in the history of this show that this has happened. I’d say Andrew’s a fool, but I don’t know if I could take it either. However, I was not with Andrew from the start, as he described himself as the kind of guy who loves to butcher animals and eat them raw. Ew. See ya.
Meanwhile, Mikey screws up the risotto. A few times. Someone always screws up the risotto on this show. Every year. Why keep it on the menu Gordon? You could save yourself a lot of money in blood pressure medications by nixing it. Maybe I’m missing the importance of rice here.
Nilka freezes on the garnish station. Jason under-cooks chicken. Autumn pisses off all the women by not admitting her mistake in over-salting the cooking water, and then being bossy. I know I’m throwing all of this at you pretty quickly, but hey, the show moves quickly. Keep up with me here!
When we get to elimination, the women hate Autumn so much, they put her up to get the boot. Gordon immediately sees through this, and asks them for an honest opinion on who is the worst cook, not the biggest bitch. The girls have to say Jamie. So she’s now on the block. The men nominate Jason, which Gordon thinks is unfair also. He calls Mikey out of the line, and in a surprise move, asks him to leave. Poor guy. Now he’s stuck with a Hell’s Kitchen tattoo for all time. And it’s biiiiggg. Can anyone say “laser?”
I still say Autumn will stick around for awhile, a-lying and a-chucking the blame. And I’m interested to see how far Ed will go. He’s already said this will be a “piece of cake” for him. Hmmm. And Gordon? So many people, so few eliminations at a time!
Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jun 09, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
%20Kitchen,%20not%20a%20kindergarten!){kind=link}
So, “Gumby” is gone. After last evening’s massacre of risotto, it wasn’t really a stretch Mikey was hitting the road, Jack. The thing with rice: It can be tricky. But it’s an excellent indicator of what one can expect from a potential chef on the line. Cook the rice properly and you gain confidence that other things can be prepared properly. I’m on board Gordy’s train in that regard.
Eggs. Dig’em. Because I can cook’em. Well. Could I do as bang up a job in Hell’s Kitchen under pressure as I can in my own? Doubtful. I’d be willing to give it a run for the money as I’m confident enough to believe I can do it. (And that’s the rub right there – believing in yourself … isn’t it?) But, truth be told, I’ve no idea if I could handle the scrutiny under the fire of a 5 minute run from scratch. Until they accept my audition tape and put me on the show, we’ll never know.
Autumn rubs me the wrong way. There is a certain truth to what she says, but her attitude is craptastic. Someone needs to knock her down couple pegs. I’m of the hope she will be nixes soon. Please.
Andrew? What an ass. It’s a shame. It really gripes my cookies to see someone walk off a show like this when there are a hundred other hopefuls who would have given 110% if they had made the cut instead of Asshat Andrew. *sigh*
Thus far, with only a couple shows under our belts, no one is really shining for me. I need more information.
Finally: Gordon … where’s the love? While I like your crankiness and understand your frustration, is it really necessary to throw a tantrum and take it out on that trashcan? Do you believe the skillets can feel your pain? Violently smooshing undercooked seafood causing it to fly hither and yon and into the nearest person’s ear – that’s really what is needed here? Chill, dude … chill. Tara’s right. You’re going to have a coronary by episode #4.
*POST AUTHOR*
Wow Michael, that’s a review in itself!
And Andrew is an idiot for leaving. But he was a gross, disgusting *thing* anyway. He wanted to end prize of 2 walk in freezers to store all the dead animals he butchers. What a Ted Bundy!
So, could you poach me up a couple nice eggs? Thanks.
Are you offering me an exclusive position at the Savoy if they come out terrifical … ?!?