Sober House – I feel way better, dude

Oh, my friends. You have made this journey with me, and of course the celebs of Sober House. What a ride it has been! I feel slightly dizzy and pukey from it all, so give me a moment.

Thanks.

I feel the only way to make this a wrap is to take one peep at a time. See, I’ve learned something from this show: One thing at a time, etc … so I hope you’re all settled in and comfy. Here we go!

Heidi and Tom: Not featured much at all in this final-ness. And after all we have been through with these two! But here’s my feeling — when they say their goodbye, she is straddling him on the couch, people. He says, “The best part of my career was when I was with you.” I said, “Whut?” And then she says, “Call me when you break up with her and get some money!” Lawd. Is it wrong that I rubbed my palms together and giggled? I’m turning into Kathy Griffin here. In fact, I just finished K.G.’s book, and I am convinced we are totally simpatico. But I digress!

Mike Starr: Dude. I love it that he calls everyone dude. From the guru Dr. Drew, to old Kiss guy Ace Frehley who shows up to help Mike out with a gig featuring the kids from School of Rock. Not the movie.  Click the link. In terms of what Mike will do after leaving the house … well, he has no plans. Dr. Drew is twitchy about this. So he enlists the help of the Kisser to talk Mike into after-care. Ace, who is 3 years sober himself, makes it a condition that he will perform with Mike if he decides to do what the Doc says. Absolutely. Mission accomplished there Dr. Drew! I always say a lil’ bribe goes a long way.

Kendra: Um, she’s leaving and there is no drama. So I checked my Facebook page, to see if people from high school think my new kitten is cute. Turns out, she is!

Jennifer Ketchum: Oh, more Dr. Drew shenanigans. He sets her up with a well-known WB exec. Jennifer points out that through being in porn, she has an excellent eye for production. Sure, that was my first thought. Anyway, the exec (surprise) loves her and takes her on, because of Jennifer’s willingness to “get coffee” for anyone. Why yes, I am mean. I had a rough childhood. Sue me.

And Dennis Rodman: My crazy Badboy. He had to leave early to do a couple appearances at Canadian clubs. No, not the drink. You can have a drink when I’m done. He’s going to the Great White North. And again, his parting words to us are, “Alcohol’s not gonna kill me.” I hope he’s right, I really do.

And Seth Binzer: In your words, “Stay Sober!”

Jennifer Gimenez: Really? She’s all bittersweet and hugging Mike and feeling like the music has stopped with the house empty? Gurl. Get real. You were one of the biggest problems and freaks there, and you were in charge!

That’s it, compadres. We’re done … or are we? Tom and Heidi, are you there?? I’ll be waaaiiiting.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Apr 30, 2010 @ 11:00 EST5EDT