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The commercial break – The Millionaire Matchmaker

I got tired of watching TV the conventional way -- watch the show, fast-forward the commercials. So I tried doing the opposite. Hey ... don't knock it 'til you've tried it!

The first time I tried this experiment, with the season finale of Gary Unmarried, I wasn’t sure exactly what I hoped to discover. Was I looking for a glimpse into the series itself? Or was it just about a different way of watching TV — fast-forwarding the show and watching the commercials.

What I discovered in the end was that the most interesting thing about it was trying to ascertain just who advertisers were hoping to reach by buying airtime during a particular series (and of course judging their ads). So with the airing of the season finale of yet another juggernaut, I decided to try again.

The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo focuses on a professional matchmaker named Patti Stanger, who transforms her wealthy clients into worthy mates, and then finds them a match. So just who watches the show? Millionaires observing Patti’s skills? Average Joes and Joans looking to strike gold by marrying rich? Or is it meant for someone else? Let’s find out.

Commercial Break #1 – Buitoni ready-to-go dinners definitely gives this a career women vibe, and I liked the bottle of Canada Dry making a break for the ginger bin — it’s made with real ginger! T-Mobile’s “add a line” campaign affirmed that this is for mothers (if they’re married with kids, is this wishful-thinking TV?), while I was a little confused by St. Ives Green Tea facial products … tea in a lotion meant for your face? Is that like putting cucumbers over your eyes? I don’t see Jennifer Lopez rebooting her career with The Back-Up Plan, and I always find the idea that Dove makes something edible rather odd. Then there was an ad for Doctor Who on the BBC. How does that fit in?

Commercial Break #2 – 1-800-Flowers might want to rethink their “warm, fuzzy feeling” slogan — I think in Spring we call that pollen allergies. And apparently 10:20 pm is about when your kids wake up and start asking for a glass of water … either that or someone scheduled an ad for the new movie Kick-Ass way wrong. To continue the confusion, Sprint seems to be pitching their 4G network to working men, but Skechers brought it back with Tone-Up shoes. But overall this was really a strange combo — next came Glidden paint from Home Depot, followed by Scott natural towels, and then an in-house ad for The Real Housewives of New York City. Could there be a seismic demographic shift right in the middle of the show?

Commercial Break #3 –An ad for the new Bravo series 9 by Design (a large family isn’t a hook anymore so the parents have to also be interior designers?) was followed by one for Svedka Vodka — because you have to be slammed to have made it this far into the show! Which is the perfect time to sell you expensive appliances, like the Electrolux dryer. And that segued perfectly into an ad for Wendy’s deluxe value meal — after splurging on the dryer you’ll be looking to save as much as you can. Laura Bell Bundy is back with a new CD (who?), Reelz Channel 238 wants you to tune in so badly it wrote a jingle, and the allergic reaction from 1-800-Flowers made its return.

Commercial Break #4 – The new Sex and the City movie doesn’t even take place in New York? I guess they know people will watch it no matter how hard they don’t try. St. Ives Green Tea facial products and Buitoni ready-to-go dinners played repeats, while the cutest commercial of the night goes to the VW Routan minivan. A father and his kids make trips around town just so people will punch one another when they see them passing by. I thought the pregnant lady was going to get punched in the gut.

Commercial Break #5 What’s with these reruns? Another St. Ives, another Canada Dry, and another Dove chocolate. DSW had a shoe daydreaming in a hammock, Kodak warned us not to overpay for ink, and Toyota tried to sell us on the Avalon being jet smooth. Even if it is I bet it doesn’t come with those flight attendants! And closing out the night was one of those Windows 7 ads with “real people,” this one featuring the lady in the French cafe. You’re going to sell me on your operating system by making me read subtitles? Really?

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking married women with kids, ages 35-50. But like I said above, is this wishful-thinking programming for them? Do you really want to turn to the mildly successful man (or woman) sitting beside you, now balding and rotund, and think, “I could have married a millionaire?” Or is this show really setting up a different series, one where happily married men and women get divorces to pursue their lifelong dream of marrying their way onto easy-street? Could be.

See you at the next commercial break!

Photo Credit: Bravo

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