American Idol – Elvis lite (headed)

Elvis:  Iconic.  Daring.  Inspiring.  Toe-tapping. (And … Elvis is everywhere, you know.)

So … how did this episode of American Idol get so bogged down with boringness given Elvis tunes were in the mix?

Adam “Screaming Mimi” Lambert:  Droll.  (un)Flamboyant.  Glaring.  Posturing.  Man, I wish I could point a finger and say it was all Adam’s fault the performances were blah inducing.  Alas, I cannot.

Adam Lambert  — the first ever Idol contestant to be invited back by The Powers That Be to mentor on an Idol telecast — gave me fits the entire week leading up to the airing.  Interestingly enough, however, two things happened to quell those fits temporarily:  1)  They never came to fruition because they still have yet to reveal their conclusions. (That will certainly take place on the Top 8 Elimination episode when The Screaming Mimi performs.)  And, 2)  Lambert didn’t annoy me anywhere near what he could have.  Surprise, surprise, surprise.  Great.  Twenty-four more hours of pent up angst.  I’m dying over here.

I’ll be okay, though.  I’ll just breathe into this paper bag and go about the business of the contestants’ performances this week:

• Crystal Bowersox, “Saved”: Solid performance, but what was she doing with such a strange and obscure Elvis tune? Kara noted the mix up in the arrangement was a good thing for Crystal … but seriously: When was the last time anyone heard Elvis’ “Saved”?
• Andrew Garcia, “Hound Dog”: It’s like Calypso-wannabe smarmy. The swoopy vocals were so craptastic I had to pick my jaw up off the floor in amazement. (And not in good amazement, either.) “I thought you pulled it off … I liked it a whole lot” Ellen said. Question: What in the world was she listening to?
• Tim Urban, “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”: Hmmmmmmmm ….. For me, that was a rather interesting interpretation of the tune. My wife and I are at odds: She thought it was boring and didn’t like it; I, on the other hand, thought it was rather cool.
• Lee DeWyze, “A Little Less Conversation”: Gravelly goodness once again. It was a blip on the map of the night however … nothing shocking or earth-shattering. But good things happen when Lee’s raspy vocals come through. That’s the one constant you can always expect from Lee.
• Aaron Kelly, “Blue Suede Shoes”: Trippy. And I mean Aaron was tripping all over the place with his performance. But then, when he slowed it way down and “dropped trow” giving it some halftime schlock and full time … well … whatever it was?  I don’t even know how to describe it as I’m at a loss for words.  But it wasn’t good, by any stretch of the imagination.
• Siobhan Magnus, “Suspicious Minds”: Remember Xanadu? ELO? Olivia Newton-John? Gene Kelly? Roller skates? (I know … don’t remind you.) Sorry, but Siobhan’s take on this tune would have fit seamlessly in with any part of that flick. (How ’bout at the end credits … you know, so we knew it was finally over?)
• Michael Lynche, “In The Ghetto”: Well, Michael did it. But that’s all there was. It wasn’t satisfying, it wasn’t terrible, it didn’t leave you wanting more. It just “was.” I am not with the judges here, giving Michael kudos over last week.
• Katie Stevens, “Baby What Do You Want Me To Do”: Did Michael’s performance before her start something slunky? Because, again, here we have a performance that just lies there and does nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Inspiration and originality slunk away from Katie before she took the stage. The second time tonight I was in disagreement with the judges.
• Casey James, “Lawdy Miss Clawdy”:  It was rather sly of Casey to take an old rhythm and blues tune and put his own little spin on it.  Too bad it didn’t work.  Boring, Casey … boring.

Who hits it?  Andrew, of course.  His performance was gag-making.

But, wait!  There’s a double elimination in the mix.  That means Michael Lynche is still taking a fall, judges’ save notwithstanding.

Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy …. The Screaming Mimi is performing during the elimination round.  Didn’t I ask some one to shoot me last week?

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Apr 14, 2010 @ 08:24 EST5EDT