Quotation Marks – Deloreans, baby daddys, and what Penny does

After covering this week’s Big Bang Theory, it feels like I have already written this week’s installment of Quotation Marks. It was certainly a laugh-a-minute episode, and I brought back my favorite two quotes from the episode for the weekly edition. Also making its — to my memory — first appearance is White Collar. It is nice to see House show up as well, but we seemed to have misplaced Psych this week. Did you see it? What were your favorite quotes?

Supernatural

“Time travel was difficult even with the powers of Heaven at my disposal.” — Castiel
“Which you cut off….” — Sam
“So what, you’re like a Delorean without enough plutonium?” — Dean
“I don’t understand that reference….” — Castiel

Grey’s Anatomy

“I’d like to push his face into a wall … no offense.” — Karev

“This isn’t really going to work for me.” — Arizona to Callie, when Mark got into bed with them

Bones

“I have to admit, the way I move, she follows me like she knows exactly where I am.” — Bones
“It’s because she can see you.” — Dr. Copeland

“Yes, but unfortunately dopey, inter-personal crap falls under my job description.” — Cam

Life Unexpected

“Yeah, that would be really messy if Baze was my high school crush, your baby daddy, and mom’s fifth husband.” — April

White Collar

“A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.” — Mozzie to Neal

“It’s like talking to a wall.” — Peter, upset that Neal had ignored his advice
“I hadn’t heard your story yet.” — Neal, in his own defense

“Poor posture doesn’t discriminate.” — Neal, explaining why an urgent care medical organization would employ a chiropractor

Greek

“I hate waiting in line … it’s so Midwest .” — Rebecca

The Middle

“With the swine flu outbreak, I have a real shot this year. A lot of good people are down.” — Sue, on her chances at making Majorettes

Big Bang Theory

“I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable, and three answers came to mind. A tollbooth attendant, an Apple Store Genius, and what Penny does.”– Sheldon

“Bazinga … Bazinga … Bazinga … Bazinga.” — Sheldon

The Office

“Have you tried making everything smaller?” — Creed’s suggestion on fitting everything back into the box

“Due to circumstances beyond my control–” — Michael
“Impulsivity and inattention to detail.” — Dwight

“Why do I have to explain everything?” — Michael
“Because we’re usually not on the same page.” — Pam

Modern Family

“Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads, or someone who follows? I’m bettin’ these babies (points to mustache) are coming back in a big way. Buy low, sell high. People are going to see this and say, ‘That guy’s high.'” – Phil

“Dad, what’s Jägermeister?” — Alex
“You know how in fairy tales there’s always potion that makes the princess fall asleep and all the guys start kissing her? Well this is like that, only you don’t wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.” — Phil

“I can’t imagine you working.” – Luke, to his mom
“Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard. It’s just now she works for us.” – Phil

Community

“Dude, even I know you’re lame, and I’m a tenured professor sitting in a beanbag chair.” — Senor Chang
“You’re not a professor.” — Troy
“Shut up.” — Senor Chang

“When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome and family-friendly as The Brady Bunch. Now we’re as incestuous and dysfunctional as the cast of The Brady Bunch.” – Abed

“You think I’m too old to make monkey shines at a picture show? Come on! I’m younger than the three of you put together!” — Pierce

30 Rock

“I’d like to pre-apologize for clogging your tub, sink, and toilet.” — Frank, upon moving in with Liz

“Manufactured in a facility that also processes food.” — Liz, reading the label of “cornholes”

“People do not change. In the late ’90s I thought Colleen had become a better person. It turns out she had a tumor pressing on her brain’s pleasure center. A tumor those quack doctors removed.” — Jack

“Could a bad mother have raised a daughter who was engaged to a congressman when she was 16?” — Jenna

House

“Do you know why you’re black?”– House
“Because God loves me more than you?”– Daryl

“What’s wrong?” – Daryl
“You’re turning white.” – House
“What’s that mean?” – Daryl’s mother
“It means he doesn’t need football to get a good job anymore.” – House

“Maybe you self-pranked.” – Wilson
“I don’t master-prank.” – House

The Vampire Diaries

“You know, I really like this whole manage-a-threesome team thing … it’s got a bit of a kink to it. Don’t screw it up.” – Damon to Stefan and Elena

“If I see something I haven’t seen before, I’ll throw a dollar at it.” – Damon, to Stefan and Elena when we walks in on them in bed together

How I Met Your Mother

“Just because a man talks about a fictional character a lot on a first date doesn’t mean he’s not husband material.” – Lily to Robin
“Sasquatch is not fictional.” – Marshall