Back-to-back ho-hum episodes for Rescue Me. I call these last couple the calm before the storm. Only five chapters remain in what has been, in my opinion, the best season since number two. The drama has been ratcheted up big time, so a short hiatus to goof off comes as a welcome reprieve. Since there wasn’t much meat on the bones last night, I figured I’d cover this episode quick-hitter style. No need to dig for subtext when none exists. With that in mind, it seems only appropriate to have a little fun with the amusing, albeit hit or miss, proceedings.
Pick a category. Any random category.
Best name never used for a band: The Douchebags. Not sure you’d make iTunes with a handle like that, but points for being bold.
Marriage doomed to fail: Lou and Candy’s. If Lou goes through with it, he’ll be on a one-way trip to Screwedville.
Worst guy to model yourself after: Garrity. His “live life for the moment” horseshit has everyone thinking with their asses. Mike wants to pursue a singing career? Yeah, that will work.
Worst stage dive in the history of stage diving: Mike landing flat on his mug. It helps to have a sizable crowd in front of you.
Best family of drunks: Easy. The Gavins. Now they’re all boozing. Fantastic.
Great name for a boxer: Dyke Tyson. Courtesy of Teddy.
New language of the day: Cock. Teddy speaks it.
Best performance by a nympho: Mrs. Needles. She tongued a couple lesbos, blew a shirtless Derek, then tried to molest Bart. Russian mail-order brides are friendly.
Most uncomfortable silence: Janet and Sheila alone in the kitchen. Tense doesn’t adequately describe it.
Misspelling of the day: “Cunf.” Sheila needs to practice her texting.
Lesser of two evils: Janet or Sheila? Who would you choose?
Lasting image: Tommy being blown into a wall by a fireball.
Lasting image #2: Tommy emerging from an inferno carrying a child.
Special guest star: Maura Tierney. Love. Maura. Tierney.
Best nut shot: From: Maura Tierney. To: Tommy Gavin.
We seem to be heading toward an inevitable tragedy. Am I alone in thinking this? It would be too obvious if Damien were to buy it, but he’s still the leading candidate in my book. Sayonara.
Clacked by Scott Tunstall 
on Jul 29, 2009 @ 09:00 EST5EDT
Hey, love the site.
A while back, you noted “Play” was a clunker of an episode. But in comparison, wasn’t this worse? I mean, how much time was spent on Sheila and Janet in the kitchen?
(Yep. Awkward. We get it.)
(But watching two women text each other from opposite ends of the same table? For ten minutes?)
Like you I suspect we’re warming up to something big. I just wish each episode’s beats (as they play out across a whole season of Rescue Me) were a little more consistent.
Whatever. I’ll keep watching, and reading, and waiting for one or more of my favorite Boozer Born-Agains (the Gavins) to meet an untimely end… Killing off Damien would be too cheap. (If not a Gavin, my money’s on Mike… or, as Jimmy’s ghost calls him, “the pussy.”)
The Sheila-Janet scenes were okay. You’re right, they hammered home the point a little too much, but it didn’t bother me that much. I disliked “Play” because it centered around something I’ve seen hundreds of times before: the awkward dinner table scene. Plus, it had Teddy and Maggie running around the VA hospital for no reason.
Maura Tierney “rescued” this episode. Her showing up at the end was the kicker. She’s giving MJ Fox a run for his money. Guest Actress Emmy material I say.
And I don’t think you missed her name (RE: Carrot). I don’t think anybody knows it yet on the show.
Oh and about Sheila or Janet: crazy fire lady is the way out of that dilemma, dude ;-)
On second thought of course Janet because of Katy.
Man still forgetting things.
On Damien: of course. Mentioned the inevitability of that a couple of weeks ago. It’s the nature of this show.
Then again I would so love to see Teddy and Maggie die a painful and slow death and the show just got another 18 episode order so maybe, if the show’s going for another two or three seasons, killing Damien off, especially considering how many good lines he gets at the moment, is becoming more unlikely every week.