Bones, and the complete underutilization of Blossom

Boy, Hart (as in Hanson, creator of Bones), you sort of blew it on the Wednesday installment of your show. You had us in your grasp with an appearance of a famous sitcom star from the early ’90s and then … nothing. Neither hide nor hair of her for the rest of the episode. Heck, you even took away the chance that she was going to be this week’s murderer — something that many viewers probably thought as soon as they saw her.

For those of you who are mouthing “WTF?,” I’m talking about the appearance of Mayim Bialik on this week’s relationship-themed episode of Bones. And, for those of you who were still a gleam in your parents’ eyes back in 1990, I’m talking about the classic NBC sitcom Blossom, which aired from 1990 to 1995. Blossom was notorious for producing a number of “very special episodes” that would turn the normally funny show downright serious.

I was pretty sure Bialik was going to be the dead ringer for the murderer. Alas, it wasn’t to be.

Fact is, Mayim had all of two lines of dialogue in only one scene of the FOX drama. My initial thought was, despite her quick appearance at the beginning of the program, she would return later in the show and end up being the person who ran her friend over (twice) with an SUV. As the episode of Bones progressed, my hopes dwindled. Eventually, the perpetrator turned out to be the owner of the dating service that the murder victim used prior to her death.

What a lost opportunity on the part of the show’s creators! They could have done so much more with Bialik. I can see it now….

Tonight, on a very special episode of Bones, Mayim Bialik reprises her most famous role in a story of murder, mayhem, and the loss of funky hats as a style statement.

Bialik (Blossom): Now, why would I kill my best friend? I mean, sure, I have my demons, and I talk about my problems to images of ’80s and early ’90s television stars, and my heart was broken at an early age by a boy who wanted to marry me, and my Mom abandoned us for a career in Paris, but I’m not bitter.

Booth: Maybe it had something to do with your nose.

Blossom: You bastard!

Meanwhile, Bones and Booth interrogate Blossom’s friends and family.

Sweets: Six, tell me a little about your friend Blossom.

Six (Jenna von Oy):Well,she’sreallynice, butcanbeapain, andshetalkstofigmentsofherimagination, andherfamilyiskindawierd, andshereallypissedme offwhenshefoundoutIwasabusingalcohol, andshegotengagedwaytooearly.

Sweets: You know, talking so fast usually means you’re trying to hide something from deep within your subconscious.

Six: You bastard!

Come laugh, cry, and experience teenage angst all over again on this week’s Bones. Special guest star, Joey Lawrence as FBI agent Joey Russo…

Bones: This victim was murdered.

Joey: Whoa!

Clacked by Richard Keller
on Apr 17, 2009 @ 15:30 EST5EDT