I dig Burn Notice for a myriad of reasons: cool spy gear, things go boom, hot chicks in bikinis, and Sam Axe, Michael Westen’s right-hand-man. Sam is loyal, reliable and trustworthy. Well, he did inform on Mikey to the FBI at one time, but that’s water under the bridge. Yeah, he does drink a little too much, but he’s never been sick at sea. Oh, he does own the worst collection of Hawaiian shirts this side of Honolulu, but hey, when in Miami….
What makes Sam so damn appealing is his never ending sarcasm and over-the-top antics. We can thank the great Bruce Campbell for creating such a likable comic character. The man who made Ash from the Evil Dead movies famous is doing the same for a former Special Forces Op who likes to romance the ladies when he’s not kicking bad guy ass. Sam is good for a few memorable gags every episode, but last night’s installment was a veritable laugh riot. While Mike was earning all the glory foiling a bank heist, Mr. Axe was juggling a date with an angel and engineering the rescue of his best pal. All in a day’s work for Sam.
Here are a few of Sam’s best lines:
When federal agent Jeremy Bly pokes at Sam about living off a fat government pension, Sam looks at his drink disgustedly and says, “Not that good, this is iced tea.”
Here’s how Sam describes his date, a millionaire beer distributor named Angela: “She’s got a beach house in Antigua with a quad-kegerator; that’s four kegs of beer at thirty-three degrees.”
Sam’s explanation to Angela as to why he has to leave their dinner date: “My buddy is being held hostage at a bank and I gotta go bust him out.” Angela gives him a WTF look. His response: “It’s true.”
Fiona is itching to blow up the bank. Sam puts her in check with this little gem: “Yeah, that’s great, let’s get Mike and the hostages killed because you have the attention span of a three-year-old.”
Sam is quite the multitasker. While thumping a bank robber in the noggin, he’s on the phone breaking things off with Angela. As he bludgeons the poor criminal, he yells, “You bastard, you ruined something special!”
In an interesting twist, Mike enlists Sam to perform an “Operation Quicksilver” on the bank robbers. It’s a clever ruse designed to break-up the motley crew before they get away with the loot. Sam assumes the role of a Keyser Soze type warlord and issues the following warning to the head bank robber:
“If there is a scratch on anyone in my bank, you all die. If there is a single dollar missing from my bank, you all die. If there is a single hostage taken, you all die. In fact, if you do anything other than walk out of my bank alone, right now, you will all know such pain as never imagined.”
Needless to say, the robbers shit their collective pants. Sam is a funny dude, but he still remembers how to get down ‘n dirty when necessary.
Lastly, there is Sam and Fi’s final exchange. I love when these two work together. They’re like a bickering brother and sister, constantly trading barbs. This one is a winner:
Sam breaks down how he is more valuable than Fiona: “Listen Fi, don’t be insulted, you’re good with the hands-on stuff, the simple mechanical things.” Fi responds, “Simple! Like wiring a truck to blow?” Then Sam hits her with this: “An important task, yes, but one a very intelligent monkey could perform.”
Great stuff. This show wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining without Sam. His comic relief provides a welcome reprieve from the technical spy jargon. I hope the writers don’t fuck with him. If I see a “Sam’s dark and troubled past comes back to haunt him” episode I may have to burn Burn Notice. Sam is fine just the way he is, thank you.
Clacked by Scott Tunstall 
on Feb 13, 2009 @ 09:00 EST5EDT
I LOVE Sam! My favorite Sam line this show was when he told Fi “It was a brief conversation. We didn’t talk about shoes or movies either”. Also loved the “attention span of a three year old” jab. I didn’t really get why Prescott shot his last two allies at the end though – especially since he left Michael just standing there. Other than that, a really enjoyable episode.
Sam’s best line was
To that annoying mean hitman/spy:
“hey… still drinking the blood of children?”