Lifetime
8:00p/7:00 Central
- Nicole Sullivan (MadTV) returns to television as a woman who forms a rock band in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Lifetime premieres Rita Rocks tonight at 8:30p/7:30 Central. Also on the half is ESPN’s Monday Night Football featuring the Broncos at the Patriots.
- But before all that begins, TruTV offers up a back-to-back premiere for Ski Patrol, chronicling the life and struggles of the men and women who fight to keep the slopes safe.
- CBS’s Monday night comedy lineup starts with The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon faces his fear of driving. Then, Stella and Ted move up the wedding to “in three days” on How I Met Your Mother. Blackmail leads to seduction on The CW’s Gossip Girl while Nicole Richie stops by to school Chuck on Sarah’s past on NBC’s Chuck.
- NyNetwork TV’s Celebrity Expose tonight looks at “Comeback Kids,” while ABC’s celebrities keep it ballroom on a new Dancing with the Stars. Over on TLC’s Little People Big World, the Roloffs go green and camping in two installments.
- And a congratulations to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles for its full season pick-up. Maybe now more people will be willing to tune in tonight to find out why Shirley Manson’s T-1001 would need a doctor.
9:00p/8:00 Central
- A&E offers up a special Intervention In-Depth: Prescription Addiction. With as much as Americans are medicating themselves and their children, this is a pretty valid topic for discourse. Or for much less serious reality, MyNetwork TV offers up some more of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
- I Love NY’s Real and Chance get their chance to shine on Real Chance of Love, as VH1 continues spinning series off of series ad-nausea.
- Scripted dramatic choices vary from Lucas and Peyton adjusting to living together in The CW’s One Tree Hill, the gang tracking the final key card on FOX’s Prison Break or NBC’s Heroes, which takes us deeper into Pinehearst Industries than we’ve ever gone.
- CBS’s comedy night continues with Two and a Half Men as Charlie tries to help Jake’s former teacher who became a stripper after dating him. Then, on Worst Week Sam lies to try and resolve the problem of inviting too many co-workers to his wedding. ABC counters on the half-hour with their own Sam considering volunteering in Africa on Samantha Who?
- Meanwhile, TLC’s weekly transition from a “little” family to big families leads to a new Jon & Kate Plus 8.
10:00p/9:00 Central
- Then, things get even bigger as TLC’s 17 Kids & Counting takes over. A&E follows up their addiction special with Jose Canseco: Last Shot in which he reveals his addition to steroids and all that’s been going wrong in his life. The Biography Channel counters with more stories behind why all those idiots on cop shows always run on Why I Ran.
- In much lighter reality fare, E! offers up boob jobs and more on a new Dr. 90210, while MTV has back-to-back episodes of The Hills and VH1 launches their new competition show Scream Queens. In this, ten women vie for a role in Saw VI, where they’ll probably scream.
- Elizabeth Berkley returns to CBS’s CSI: Miami even more unstable than when we last saw her. Over on NBC, Henry struggles with realizations that many of his memories are fabricated while Edward tracks a software engineer who holds information regarding a terrorist attack on My Own Worst Enemy.
- TNT’s Raising the Bar has Charlie getting Jerry to take a case against an acquaintance of his, only to have it appear in his judge’s court. Alternately, on ABC Alan and Shirley take the armed forces to court for malpractice on a new Boston Legal.
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