HBO
Sure, I like my TV. It’s often my best friend other than my cat. But I’m not here to clack about my personal psychological quirks. Nuh-uh. I’m here to play a game of “what if” with y’all. Hey, don’t go onto the next article! Stay and play for a spell.
As I said, I like my TV and I enjoy my shows. But what if I mixed and matched characters from some of the shows I enjoy? Now, I watch a variety of shows ranging from reality television to sitcoms to cop procedural. What if …? Read on past the jump!What if … a new show featured Omar from The Wire and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory? Let’s see, what could we call it? Maybe just The Big Bang because Omar would be so annoyed by Sheldon that he’d whip out his shotgun ten minutes into the first episode. How would their conversation go? I can see it now. Sheldon would push Omar so far over the edge that he’d forget all about his code to not kill civilians. When you think about it, Sheldon’s not quite a civilian anyway. He’s more like an android.
Omar: “We have to watch to see when Jumper picks up the latest package.”
Sheldon: “But first we must study the quantum probability as defined by the Schroedinger equation in reference to how it relates to the parameters of this, um … heist.”
Omar: “Say what? That’s it! You’re not sleeping in my bed anymore, Science Boy!”
BANG.
All right, yes, that would be one short-lived show. Hmm. What if … Wally Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver) and AJ Soprano (The Sopranos) had their own show? First off, it would be kind of cool as Wally walked around in black and white while everything else was in color. Or would it be the other way around — AJ in color and it’s a black and white series? Hey, I’m not here to figure out the technicalities.
Okay, we need to come up with a good title. Gee, I think Bosom Buddies has already been used. And Cleaver was the name of Chris’s ill-fated movie on The Sopranos. So we shouldn’t use that. How about a working project name of Wally and AJ, BFF? Unless you have a better idea, let’s go with that for now.
Eddie Haskell, in B&W of course, could be a recurring character. Now we just need a storyline. I’m putting my thinking cap on here. What I really want to do is have AJ lead Wally astray taking him to stripper joints and introducing him to illegal drugs. Carmela Soprano would be oh-so-delighted that AJ has found such a clean-cut nice boy to befriend. Meanwhile, Tony would judge Wally’s pompadour against Silvio’s and promote wagering at the pork store, buying Carmela more diamond earrings with his winnings. Silvio, upset that someone has a more popular pompadour than he does, decides to shave his head and wear a ‘do-rag from that day on.
Eddie Haskell would work his way into the family for just a short period of time. He never realized that Ward and June Cleaver saw through him and thought he could get in good with the mob. He was wrong. Paulie took a dislike to him and dropped him off in a bad neighborhood in Newark telling him to wait for a package to be delivered. Eddie’s last words are, “I really like the wingtip effect in your hair. It’s very becoming.”
Have you any better names for the shows? And … what characters would you like to mix and match in their own shows?
Clacked by Jackie Schnoop 
on Oct 01, 2008 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
Al Swearengen from “Deadwood” and Father Mulcahy from “M*A*S*H*” *snicker*
How about Dexter and Bones teaming up for a high profile case? Talk about conflicting personalities….
How about Jerry ‘Hands’ Espensen from Boston Legal and Don Konkey from Dirt joing forces to form a PI firm? Jerry runs the business with Don out in the field getting the pictures and video for the clients. And neither one is on their meds. Can you imagine how their conversations with each other would sound?
I have a slightly different game I play. I’ll use a Sopranos episode as an example. You might remember the time that Uncle Junior was watching TV, and Curb Your Enthusiasm was on. He got confused when he saw Larry and his manager, thinking that somehow he, Junior, and Bobby were on TV. But that’s not what interested me. What I found fascinating was that Uncle Junior was able to watch HBO.
Now, if HBO existed in the Sopranos universe, how come they weren’t able to watch themselves?
If they could have watched themselves they could have become a much more efficient family. They would have known the moment somebody flipped on em and clipped em right away. And they would have had a heads up before they got raided. That reminds me of that Beavis and Butthead when they were watching Cops on tv and their house was getting raided. Butthead said that house looked familiar just as the police were about to enter.