CliqueClack

Don Jon proves that Joseph Gordon-Levitt really can do anything

Relationships are complicated. And we don’t make things any easier on ourselves with selfishness and fantasy. Daydreams and popular entertainment, impossible ideals and overwhelming societal expectations — these are the things we do to keep ourselves confused and unhappy. You know, the usual. People and all that. We try to find anchors and rituals to keep things steady, and lie steadily to our own reflections that sacrifices of ourselves are worth the illusory goal of the “perfect” relationship. In reality, of course, nothing is perfect. But sometimes what we have isn’t that bad.

Don Jon is the writing and directorial debut of Joesph Gordon-Levitt, who was in quite a few movies last year and many more in years prior. He’s actually shown acting range and talent with very different sorts of characters over the years, and now apparently he can also write and direct movies. A bit unfair, really.  But the movie … it’s pretty great. The story is about Jon (played by JGL), a bit of a ladies man with a strong New Jersey accent and an unusual problem. Sure, he loves his family and takes great pride is his religious devotion, classic car, and his own apartment. He’s never had any issues getting a lady — but afterwards it’s always … empty. So Jon turns to porn. Over and over and over again. You might say he has a bit of an addiction. And his parents (Tony Danza and Glenne Headly) despair of him ever finding a long term girlfriend. Until he meets Barbara.

Who is played by Scarlett Johansson.

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Spurned love and pesky (deadly!) ants courtesy of The Naked Jungle

It’s your basic love story:

Lonely boy orders mail order bride …
Lonely boy marries mail order bride by proxy …
Lonely boy finally meets mail order bride for the first time …

Wait a minute. Something’s out of joint here. Let’s try this again …

Better yet … you know what? Forget it. There’s no way I’m going to be able to preface this as your basic love story and get it to make sense. I’ll attempt a completely different tact.

Sometimes? You just need ants. Because, when you think about it, ants will keep you grounded in a given situation. Here … let me give you a couple examples:

• Bad day at the office? It could always be worse — just add ants.
• Dinner didn’t turn out the way you planned? You find out a swarm of ants have invaded it and, suddenly, it’s not so bad after all.
• Picnic in the park or at the beach? Ants’ll ruin those in a heartbeat.
• Ever been on your lawn barefoot, minding your own business watering away and daydreaming of that evening’s movie and popcorn when all of a sudden you realize you’re standing on an anthill? Kind of puts that idyllic daydream of yours on hold right quick. Because, instantly, you’re hosing off hundreds of stinging pests from your feet and ankles.

See what I mean?

And that’s what we have here in The Naked Jungle: Ants.

Well … amour and ants.

But let’s be completely honest here — there’s no love in the first half of this film. And in the first two thirds? There are exactly zero, zilch, zippo ants. Still, quite a few set-ups and tidbits lead to what we paid cold, hard cash to get in this film. So let’s get to gettin’ and see where the love and the ants come into play. Continue reading 'Spurned love and pesky (deadly!) ants courtesy of The Naked Jungle' »

Win passes to see Gravity in Baltimore

CliqueClack has partnered with Warner Brothers Pictures and Allied Integrated Marketing to offer readers in the Baltimore area an opportunity to attend an advance screening of the new film Gravity starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. The screening will take place Monday, September 30, 7:00 PM at AMC White Marsh. 25 pairs of passes will be awarded at random. All you have to do it leave a comment on this post telling us why you want to see the movie. It’s that simple! A couple of things to note:

Passes are limited, so we are limiting comments to one per person and/or email address. Duplicates will be discarded. Passes do not guarantee you seats at the screening. Seating is first-come, first-served so plan to arrive early. Winners will be notified by email and will receive a GoFoBo code good for up to two Admit One passes. This code can only be redeemed once. Commenting period will end at noon, Sunday, September 29. Have a look at the trailer and leave a comment!

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Agents of SHIELD – Welcome to Level 7

Unlike most new pilots, ABC and Marvel decided not to provide the press with a screener of the highly anticipated Agents of SHIELD. They did screen the episode a couple times this summer, but most of us were left on the outside of Marvel’s cone of secrecy (Though I’m still not sure I understand the point of restricting access to the pilot once it has been screened publicly). Regardless, SHIELD arrived in fine form tonight, reminding us that Joss Whedon was kicking ass on television long before Marvel came knocking on his door.

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Modern Family, Hannibal, Doctor Who and more come to home video

With the Emmy Awards behind us and the new fall season upon us, you still have time to catch up on returning shows as many of them are coming to home video this week, including the Emmy winning Best Comedy (again), Modern Family, South Park, Hawaii Five-O, Law & Order: SVU, Two and a Half Men, 2 Broke Girls, and my favorite new comedy from last season (which is miraculously still on the air this season), The Neighbors. Classic TV lovers should feel all nostalgic with China Beach, The Mod Squad, Cagney & Lacey, Carol Burnett and Dean Martin coming to DVD. There are many more titles available on September 24, so have a look at our handy shopper’s guide to see this week’s highlights and click on a link to make a purchase or to get more information. And don’t forget to check out October’s hot pre-order titles for some holiday gift giving ideas!

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Iron Man, Batman, Michael Myers and Norman Bates come home this week

If you like your movies full of superheroes or psychopathic killers, or something in-between, we’ve got you covered with this week’s DVD and Blu-ray releases. The two biggies this week showcase the Marvel/DC rivalry as Iron Man 3 makes its home video debut (after an exclusive digital release a couple of weeks ago), and The Dark Knight Trilogy finally brings all three Batman movies together in one collectible set. With Halloween just around the corner, horror films get a big push this week with the release of V/H/S/2 and I Spit On Your Grave 2, along with classics Halloween (a 35th anniversary edition), John Carpenter’s underrated Prince of Darkness, and Psycho II and III. Summer’s sleeper The Kings of Summer and the Stanely Kubrick/The Shining documentary Room 237 are also available. To see a list of the September 24th home video highlights, have a look at our shopper’s guide and click on a link to get more information or to make a purchase.

Be sure to check out October’s hot pre-orders for holiday gift giving ideas!

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My final word on the Emmys In Memoriam

I’ve heard, read and been involved in conversations regarding this year’s “In Memoriam” segment shown on Sunday’s Emmy telecast. Guess what? So far everyone has gotten it wrong. It’s time to straighten them out.

If you didn’t hear the hoopla prior to the Emmys or if you didn’t see it live Sunday evening, this year’s tribute called out special considerations for five individuals throughout the show: For writer / producer Gary David Goldberg and for actors Jean Stapleton, Jonathan Winters, James Gandolfini and Cory Monteith. The biggest controversy came courtesy of Monteith’s inclusion within the exclusive spots.

Name it and it’s been discussed. Forget the fact Monteith was “relegated” to the level of Stapleton, Winters and Gandolfini; did he have a body of work comparable to any of the other three actors? Was it simply a matter of the Emmys playing to a younger crowd for this and future airings? Was Monteith’s unfortunate self-destructive passing worthy of all the negativity surrounding the tribute and Jane Lynch‘s eulogization? Overall, was he plainly and simply not deserving of such a gratitude? Those are just a few of the things that have been questioned of his tribute.

But I have a better question: Were any of them deserving of being called out for special recognition let alone the thoughts offered by Michael J. Fox, Rob Reiner, Robin Williams, Edie Falco or Lynch? I say no. None of those acknowledge were. Goldberg wasn’t. Stapleton wasn’t. Winters wasn’t. Gandolfini wasn’t. Monteith wasn’t. Continue reading 'My final word on the Emmys In Memoriam' »

Breaking Bad – It’s now all a matter of Gray Matter

This is it. This is the last time we can say we’re looking forward to the “next” episode of Breaking Bad. Next Sunday, it all ends. So, you’re wondering: how is it all going to end? That I don’t know; I’m betting there are really not many who do know, especially outside the show’s actors, production crew and staff. With the incredibly tight writing this season, though, you can certainly make some decent guesses for some of it.

For me, I say the majority of the final episode comes down to Gray Matter Technologies, the company Walt help found many years ago. It’s certainly not a stretch: the final scene of the second-to-final episode (“Granite State”) included Walt watching his old colleagues — Elliott and Gretchen Schwartz — denouncing Walter’s contribution to their company. If you listen to that television interview closely, though, you’ll note two things that could have caused Walt to react the way he did.

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And the Emmy for Best Self Promotion goes to…

I don’t know what was more awkward on last night’s Emmy Awards: The parade of CBS television actors pimping their own shows before doling out awards or Shemar “Well it’s me again” Moore’s delivery of his other catchphrase, “Only CBS.” Let’s get Shemar out of the way first.  He was drunk, right? Or he sustained a concussion minutes before the telecast launched and they threw him out there anyway. He acted like C3PO without the clever dialogue. I kept flashing back to the scene in Talladega Nights when Will Ferrell didn’t know what to do with his hands.

Win free passes to see Don Jon in Baltimore or DC

This offer is no longer valid. Follow @CliqueClack on Twitter for alerts on giveaways, news and reviews.

CliqueClack has partnered with Relativity Media and Allied Integrated Marketing to offer readers in the Baltimore and DC areas a chance to see an advance screening of the new film Don Jon starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, and Tony Danza.

Jon Martello (Gordon-Levitt) is a strong, handsome, good old fashioned guy. His buddies call him Don Jon due to his ability to “pull” a different woman every weekend, but even the finest fling doesn’t compare to the bliss he finds alone in front of the computer watching pornography. Barbara Sugarman (Johansson) is a bright, beautiful, good old-fashioned girl. Raised on romantic Hollywood movies, she’s determined to find her Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset. Wrestling with good old-fashioned expectations of the opposite sex, Jon and Barbara struggle against a media culture full of false fantasies to try and find true intimacy in this unexpected comedy written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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